• Fail Safe

    Fail Safe

    ★★★★★

    “And the only thing everyone can agree on is that no one’s responsible”

    Dr. Strangelove minus the comedy. So fucking tense/bleak, Lumet was on another level.

  • Birdemic: Shock and Terror

    Birdemic: Shock and Terror

    ½

    Who names their cat Alex???

  • The Red Balloon

    The Red Balloon

    ★★★★

    I wish I could let the guy who directed this know that I paired it with BASEketball, but he’s been dead twice as long as that movie has existed

  • BASEketball

    BASEketball

    ★★★

    Hate to see Al Michaels like this

  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★★

    “As I think you know, Alma, I prefer my asparagus with oil and salt. And knowing this, you've prepared the asparagus with butter. Now, I can imagine in certain circumstances being able to pretend that I like it made this way. Right now, I'm just admiring my own gallantry for eating it the way you've prepared it.“

    Starting the year off with a rewatch of this absolute heater. Lulls you into a beautifully serene pot then slowly boils you alive. The man does not miss.

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas

    ★★★★½

    I saw this in theaters when it came out, and before I saw the original, so I never carried any animosity towards it. It’s lean and mean and becoming a Christmas staple in this house. One of the best slashers of the aughts.

  • Ambulance

    Ambulance

    ★★★★

    Michael Bay freebasing Michael Bay

    or Michael Bay aggressively sucking his own dick (but in a good way)

  • Trapped in Paradise

    Trapped in Paradise

    ★★½

    I know like 6 or 7 people that also own a copy of this movie and don’t know how/when/why they acquired it and to this day have not watched it. I’ve had mine for 10+ years & decided to step into the unknown for us all and can now confirm it is okay to let it go. It is a movie born to clutter shelves and inevitably end up at Goodwill.

  • The Sasquatch Gang

    The Sasquatch Gang

    ★★★½

    “What did you tell your parents to get off restriction, Maynard?”

    “That I was going to do drugs and kill myself if they didn't let me go.”

    “I should try that sometime.”

    “Yeah. Now next year I get to miss school twice a week to see a therapist.”

    ”Awesome.”

    A better-because-it’s-dumber Napoleon Dynamite that has Justin Long w/ a mullet in a Firebird, Carl Weathers tasting sasquatch feces, ends with a NOFX song, and is produced by Kevin Spacey. Unsurprisingly…

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling

    ★★

    Sorry Olivia, we’ve got a flop on our hands

    Tries to be alot of things but is instead bad, and it has no reason to be this janky which is worst of all. Do you think she fell in love with how bad he is at acting? Was that it?

  • Tangerine

    Tangerine

    ★★★★½

    Sean Baker: master of making methheads your best friends

  • The Oh in Ohio

    The Oh in Ohio

    ★★

    I’ll watch Parker Posey (goddess) in anything, but no one should be made to watch her tongue-kiss and fuck Danny Devito for half the duration of a feature length film. RIP my eyes