Letterboxd — Your life in film

(year:) SOONER THAN YOU THINK
-opening credits

Somewhat dull and definitely way dumber than it believes itself to be (typical high-minded sci-fi politics dumbed down so your dad can keep up), its still an oddly amusing comfort watch as an ugly 90’s PG-13 Total Recall meets The Fugitive (quite brazen I might add) Arnold-assault-vehicle.

3 nacho-flavored bananas out of 5

Did Ed Wood’s ghost direct this?

It’s great that you got a dog, Grandma. I think everyone should have a pet. Whats its name?

Cancer.

Wai- wait, uhm, why would you name it that?

It felt right.

Wait... Nana... are you?

I’m going outside

Here, take Cancer with you. She has to go.

Is there anything funnier than Ellen Burstyn angry-chugging an entire bottle of kaopectate?

“If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.”

There is a character whose “life’s work” is to hand-grenade the President. Paul Bartel is my hero.

OOOF

What if we made another superhero sequel 
but this time 
made it 
Wishmaster (1997) 
meets 
Catwoman* (2004)

but also make it 151 FUCKING MINUTES LONG

*this isn’t a reference to Kristin Wiig’s character

Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?

What? Oh, execute. No, not at the moment.

Pity.

An awesome heist movie within a scathing workplace comedy. One of my favorite first time watches of the year and certainly the greatest final shot of anything I’ve seen in recent memory (maybe ever!).

It’s like an ultra-edgelord Code Orange music video filtered through a Sega Dreamcast. Mileage will vary based on how far off you can turn your brain without deciding you have better things to do.

“Sorry I'm late. I had trouble catching a cab.”

“Perhaps they thought you were Danny Glover.”

It’s your standard family-vs.-apocalypse scenario, but more War of the Worlds than 2012 and all the better for it. Last 10-15 minutes wane, feeling rushed and derivative, but doesn’t blight the overall experience much. Probably the best of the genre since The Wave.

Obviously Point Break is an all-time banger, but holy shit Johnny Utah is so fucking bad at his job

Never watched much growing up but this was rapid fire fun so rating is based on pure enjoyment factor.

Maybe I’ll finally watch the show?