Keith has written 182 reviews for films during 2020.

  • The 6th Day

    The 6th Day

    ★★★

    (year:) SOONER THAN YOU THINK
    -opening credits

    Somewhat dull and definitely way dumber than it believes itself to be (typical high-minded sci-fi politics dumbed down so your dad can keep up), its still an oddly amusing comfort watch as an ugly 90’s PG-13 Total Recall meets The Fugitive (quite brazen I might add) Arnold-assault-vehicle.

    3 nacho-flavored bananas out of 5

  • The Puppet Masters

    The Puppet Masters

    ★★

    Did Ed Wood’s ghost direct this?

  • Wiener-Dog

    Wiener-Dog

    ★★★★½

    It’s great that you got a dog, Grandma. I think everyone should have a pet. Whats its name?

    Cancer.

    Wai- wait, uhm, why would you name it that?

    It felt right.

    Wait... Nana... are you?

    I’m going outside

    Here, take Cancer with you. She has to go.

    Is there anything funnier than Ellen Burstyn angry-chugging an entire bottle of kaopectate?

  • Arlington Road

    Arlington Road

    ★★★★½

    I knew this was a Mark Pellington film before the nü-metally credits eventually revealed his name (I like the Mothman Prophecies for reasons I don’t even understand, but I can’t say that movie ever inspired me to check out more of his work as a filmmaker), and was almost dissuaded from staying up late to give this a go...

    Those fears of tedium were completely unfounded though, because this is a just about perfect late-90’s-early-00’s paranoid yuppie thriller, with an…

  • Death Race 2000

    Death Race 2000

    ★★★★

    “If they scatter, go for the baby and the mother.”

    There is a character whose “life’s work” is to hand-grenade the President. Paul Bartel is my hero.

  • Wonder Woman 1984

    Wonder Woman 1984

    ★½

    OOOF

    What if we made another superhero sequel 
    but this time 
    made it 
    Wishmaster (1997) 
    meets 
    Catwoman* (2004)

    but also make it 151 FUCKING MINUTES LONG



    *this isn’t a reference to Kristin Wiig’s character

  • The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

    The Taking of Pelham One Two Three

    ★★★★★

    Excuse me, do you people still execute in this state?

    What? Oh, execute. No, not at the moment.

    Pity.

    An awesome heist movie within a scathing workplace comedy. One of my favorite first time watches of the year and certainly the greatest final shot of anything I’ve seen in recent memory (maybe ever!).

  • Where the Dead Go to Die

    Where the Dead Go to Die

    ★★

    It’s like an ultra-edgelord Code Orange music video filtered through a Sega Dreamcast. Mileage will vary based on how far off you can turn your brain without deciding you have better things to do.

  • Bamboozled

    Bamboozled

    ★★★★

    “Sorry I'm late. I had trouble catching a cab.”

    “Perhaps they thought you were Danny Glover.”

  • Greenland

    Greenland

    ★★★★

    It’s your standard family-vs.-apocalypse scenario, but more War of the Worlds than 2012 and all the better for it. Last 10-15 minutes wane, feeling rushed and derivative, but doesn’t blight the overall experience much. Probably the best of the genre since The Wave.

  • Point Break

    Point Break

    ★★★★

    Obviously Point Break is an all-time banger, but holy shit Johnny Utah is so fucking bad at his job

  • The Simpsons Movie

    The Simpsons Movie

    ★★★★½

    Never watched much growing up but this was rapid fire fun so rating is based on pure enjoyment factor.

    Maybe I’ll finally watch the show?