Blonde ★½

We’d like to think that Billy Crystal would sing of Andrew Dominik’s Blonde at the Oscars to the melody of “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”. Here’s our draft of the lyrics:

🎼 A film of Monroe would be quite continental 🎶

🎶 But Dominik is not our friend 🎶

🎶 An actual biopic might be essential 🎶

🎶 But from womb to tomb: all we get is doom and gloom 🎶

🎶 Pain grows old as we’re left cold 🎶

🎶 You’ll want to fast forward to the end 🎶

🎶 A Venice ovation for this abomination?? 🎶

🎶 Dominik is not our friend 🎶

Block or Report

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