Dear Mr Zombie,
Thank you so much for your entry into the Rother Junior Film Maker competition, unfortunately, with so many entries from so many talented teenagers this year, you have not made the final 100.
When making a horror movie in future, we advise you dont cast your wife (if she only has sex with you if you cast her in films, we suggest marriage guidance or a divorce).
You should also consider ditching the cliche of the spooky…
My kids go to a church school, we often attend church. This involves making tea for old ladies, eating cake and the kids doing some colouring.
What it doesn't do is involve screaming, speaking in tongues and wanting to kill Harry Potter for being a Warlock.
Holy fucking shit.
In the middle of the most baffling and ridiculous heist ever, a woman strips down to her pants, for no reason other than for us to oggle her cracking tits.
One star for each of them.
