my account is not a safe space for criticism. i am always right. and also sexy.

Favorite films

  • Paddington 2
  • Raw
  • The Shape of Water
  • Carol

Recent activity

  • Carmen Jones


  • She's the Man


  • Galaxy Quest


  • The Piss Witch


Recent reviews

  • She's the Man

    She's the Man


    we don't discriminate based 👉 on 👉 GENDA 👉

  • The Godfather: Part III

    The Godfather: Part III


    Everyone prepares you for Sofia Coppola's wooden plank acting but no one prepares you for the incest?

Popular reviews

  • The Blair Witch Project

    The Blair Witch Project


    it took me twenty additional minutes to finish this because about halfway through my television turned itself off and i just thought they'd put the camera in their pocket or something.

  • Love Actually

    Love Actually


    Me when Hugh Grant danced on the staircase for Natalie: maybe straight people do have rights.
    Me when Alan Rickman had the audacity to upset Emma Thompson: nevermind.