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  • The Last House on the Left

    The Last House on the Left

    ★★★★★

    Horror of 1972 / Horror of the 70's

    CONTENT WARNING: this review goes everywhere, the entire map of uncomfortable subjects with exception of physical disability and specific wars. That is no idle descriptor. I tried to even it out with humor and my usual idealistics about empowerment. But, there is a lot of fairly detailed stuff about very painful subjects. Sexual assault is theorized about heavily (I use the "R" verb for non-consensual assault a great deal throughout). Animal tragedy…

  • Martyrs

    Martyrs

    Do not take my lack of rating to mean this is a puzzler, a film requiring time to think through.

    Take it to mean this pile of shit has zero merit and I knew it would be a pile of shit before I watched the whole thing. I caught 2 scenes before I sat through the whole thing. One featuring a teen brother and sister sitting at their kitchen table eating breakfast, being exactly the millennial shits all survival films…

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  • Sleepaway Camp

    Sleepaway Camp

    This review was written in 2011, I believe:

    How many times is a rip-off able to surpass the thing it owes its' existence to? Only two films come to mind (Piranha is the other). Friday the 13th had great pieces but really didn't come together to be the best it could be (though it's still a personal favorite and always will be). Sleepaway Camp aims lower but nonetheless passes with Sleaze Honors. In the arena of so-bad-it's-good horror movies -…

  • Jurassic Park

    Jurassic Park

    ★★★★

    #63 in my 99 90's Movies month.

    Excitement and danger come first, characters come second. Which is totally okay in Spielbergia. Though those kids are incredibly annoying at times. ("Vegiesaurus! Meatasaurus!" ...Really, movie?) And some of the drama is pretty seriously forced down your throat (Laura Dern before eating the ice cream, Attenborough's super-scream on the telephone, Jeff Goldblum... in general, that kid and the tree climbing, and the fence jumping). But it is exciting and it never did skimp on the danger, did it? Holds up surprisingly well. I probably never enjoyed it this much.