• May December

    May December


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Julianne Moore way moore, um, more unhinged than when she was playing Carrie's mom. Keep away, Crazy White Lady!

    I got more involved with Natalie Portman reading a letter than sitting through the entire season of Ridley Scott's Napoleon.

    Todd Haynes lifting the rock and watching the cockroaches scatter in the seemingly mundane. A color blasted Persona with a soap opera score.

    Safe is still my favorite Haynes/Julianne Moore collaboration. May December is a close second.

    "I know what it's…

  • Twisted



    Such a good cast for such an awful thriller...

    Back when late night cable thrillers were a thing this seems like a perfect example. The behind the scenes of this has to be way more entertaining than the actual movie.

    Ashley Judd plays a homicide detective whose lovers are murdered after she gets blackout drunk and has sex with them.

    Not one to judge, but can't that be sign to drink just a little bit less?

    You'll guess the culprit…

  • Marlowe



    Mildly enjoyable if stilted detective noir.

    Wanted a mindless genre picture after back-to-back surgeries (one of them LIVED!) and put this one since Liam Neeson taught me some Irish slang when he played a Russian on the set of K19 The Widowmaker.

    The mystery itself is convoluted but intriguing but the narrative is bogged down by scene-by-scene exposition dumps.

    Everyone plays the noir roles adequately enough, especially Jessica Lange still channeling Joan Crawford from feud.

    Two hours not wasted, but…

  • In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place


    One of the most fucked-up (yet realistic) love stories yo be put on film that doesn't involve marsupials.

    Feels like it's going to be a murder mystery then turns into something deeper, which makes the ending more of a punch to the gut.

    Bogart in one of this most vulnerable roles and my personal favorite of the Bogart/Nicholas Ray collaborations.

    You're so invested in the characters you almost don't care Bogey was 50 and Gloria Grahame was 27 #gross but…

  • Toy Story 2

    Toy Story 2


    One of my favorite sequels of all time and neither you nor the law will convince me despite your "legally binding warrant" and "police surrounding my house" that the children locked in my basement aren't evil dolls that have taken over the bodies of the neighborhood youth.

    During a recording session Tom Hanks and Wallace Shawn wore the same outfit and were forced to live with each other in Peter Scolari's (Rip) compound for 3 weeks and sew original clothing to each other's measurements.

  • Paint Drying

    Paint Drying

    Brad Pitt and Bradley Cooper are Undercover cops posing as surfers trying to infiltrate a meth Ring in BRADICAL.

    Opening Christmas Day 2045

    Tagline- "Surf's Up. Crime is Going Down".

    Directed by Kelly Reichardt

  • Black Mirror: Demon 79

    Black Mirror: Demon 79


    Overly long but still watchable Black Mirror ep...

    Holds the viewer more than most Black Mirror episodes this season.

    Attempts at horror deserve a golf clap at best, though you question why the episode needed to be longer than most.

    As a horror comedy, of the character driven humor registers more than anything else as it's reasonably well acted.

    A variation of The Trolley Problem with an ending you'll figure out but the journey is more or less worth the…

  • National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1

    National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1


    Scattershot farce funnier than given credit for amongst the tons seemingly released in the mid-90s.

    Filled with the most random cameos (Joyce Brothers?) that stun even when the jokes don't entirely work.

    A tad funnier than the Naked Gun sequel released a year later or even the Hot Shots sequel later in '93.

    Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson play everything as straight as they can and rarely wink at the camera.

    You know way in advance if you're into…

  • Candy Cane Lane

    Candy Cane Lane


    Requisite Eddie Murphy family movie: Christmas Edition.

    With a two hour running time, it tests your patience with subplots that should have been jettisoned and sequences that should have been trimmed but then you remember you're watching a Christmas movie and you don't care about things like that but at least it's not one of those Stepford White People Hallmark Movies.

    From the director of Boomerang.

    The Amazon corporation teaches you the true meaning of Christmas!!!

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness


    Multiverse of Mildness

    Called "horror" by some. It's "horror" if all you watch are Marvel movies or you've never seen an actual horror movie before.

    Correction- That fucking "Ice Cream" song is the scariest thing Marvel's ever done. People walked out of theaters like that scene in Terrifier 2.

    Sam Raimi slums while Marvel VFX artists are given a bowl of water every two days to be shared with the cat.

    Top 5 Sam Raimi Films Ranked (LINK Below)


    Full Review Link Below-- This Doctor Strange In The Multiverse of Madness (2022) Review Throws Petite Maman Into A Blender But Doesn’t Turn It On!


  • It's a Wonderful Knife

    It's a Wonderful Knife


    Justin Long should be in some horror movies.

  • Saltburn



    Barry Keoghan begins his inevitable transformation into Joel Edgerton.

    The Harry Potter reboot gets DARK.