Godzilla vs. Kong

Godzilla vs. Kong ★★★½

Gonna dig in deep here, I have my reasons... so bear with me... I’ll get to Godzilla vs. Kong at some point... but this all means something in the long run.

Besides my mother and father, my biggest influence in and on my life, and how I learned to conceive compassion and empathy, was my grandfather. While I spent my late teens and early 20’s getting blitzkrieged every night, He spent his late teens and early twenties actually getting blitzkrieged... getting shot at and losing all his friends in the pacific, and then on June 6th 1944 landed on Omaha beach... famously depicted in Saving Private Ryan, where all but 3 people in his landing ship got shredded to pieces by rampant machine gun fire. Guys strewn by raging bullets and and chaotic madness at every angle. During the opening of SPR Tom hanks drags a wounded friend on the beach who gets blown away to reveal half a body missing and something like that happened to my grandfather. That guy saved his life seconds before. His name was Ian. That’s who I was named after. Crazy knowing that I wouldn’t exist without this mythical stranger capturing a bullet for my grandfather who dragged his body as long as he could before it became a mangled Clive barker effect.

He wrote letters to my future grandmother about how fragmented his head was after losing friends and killing numerous people. Not exactly everyday talk, but I have these letters and revisit them frequently. They aren’t all about death and destruction, and the rest of what’s written in them are beautiful, intricate, and very much the man I knew. Anyways, I grew up spending most of my childhood with my grandparents while my folks struggled to make some Reagan life worthwhile. During the weekends I had my mom and dad and watched movies, scooby doo, and pink panther cartoons. During the week I had my grandpa and watched King Kong, Godzilla, and universal monsters. My grandpa showed me King Kong and I loved every second of it as a young Neanderthal kid. Then he showed me Godzilla and gave me a warning... He singled out human destruction and the mayhem of war. I took to it. It changed me. My life with him was glorious and I will cherish every moment forever—specifically when we went to see saving private Ryan at the $2 movie theater. I remember it so well. We sat down with our shitty stake popcorn, then the beginning started and to this day no one has ever held my hand harder than he did during that opening half hour. I looked up at this god like hero I loved and saw tears, he squeezed my hand harder and harder with each passing second. So that’s all I have to say about that.. other than jerkoff cynical shitfucks who mock that movie or Schindler’s List can get bent.

Anyways, he died in 2003 of cancer and hung on long enough to see me graduate high school—which he was beyond excited for. I was with him when he died, it was just me and him and he told me that I’d meet someone and have my own life one day. I cried and said I don’t want my own life.. I wanted to keep my life with him. He wearily coughed and looked at me and said some sage obi wan shit that he’d always be with me. He started to go right there as we talked about baseball and monster movies. He passed moments later with just me In the room and I saw the pain leave his body.

The first movie I watched after me weeklong hangover of death was King Kong. I smiled and I cried.

Anyways, he would have LOVED this movie. A dumber Batman vs Superman idiot movie where superpowerless Kong is Batman. He isn’t a monster and never was. He can’t compete with a Superman or shitty blockbuster aliens or undefeated lizard titans, and I kinda feel like that ZS epic joint is undervalued by pisshead cynics and too smart for their own good jerkoffs and this will probably end up in that same category but the dumb as a bag of rocks super fun version.

Sure... this is product big movie blockbuster shit that doesn’t care about you or your dead relatives and the last kind of movie format that I usually like... but whatever. Sometimes it happens that way. This movie is an amusement park. I miss you pop, 18 years gone but you would have loved this goofy monster beatdown bullshit, I know I did.

Sorry for getting so personal with this... I’m four drinks in and missing the most important human in my life so whatever.


Also lol hollow earth, where were my troglodytes and mole men?!?!?

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