CJ

I like cats, coffee, waffles, long walks on the beach, but not the bees. NOT THE BEES.

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  • Blonde and Blonder

    Blonde and Blonder

    ★★★½

    This film has a 16% Rotten Tomatoes rating and a 2.8/10 on IMBD, which just goes to show most people in the world DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN.

    I'm not trying to say this is a lost classic or even a particularly great movie but it's a perfectly competent goofball comedy in which Pamela Anderson and Denise Richards play Dee and Dawn, a pair of hapless blondes who get mistaken for underworld assassins. They're pursued across Canada by an…

  • Fearless Hyena

    Fearless Hyena

    ★★★

    Jackie Chan writes, directs, choreographs and stars in this comic romp about a good for nothing layabout who uses his grandfather's secret kung fu style to make a quick buck and soon lives to regret it... Will he learn the true spirit of martial arts and kick the ass of the local evil warlord? I mean, you already know the answer if you've even watched one 70s martial arts movie.

    This is clearly Jackie finding his way a little and…

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  • Lords of Chaos

    Lords of Chaos

    I have Thoughts. With a capital T. So this is going to be a long post. Sorry.

    I guess I should start by putting this into context because I suspect most people are probably going to find this film perfectly enjoyable and wonder why I'm being so joyless. I admit I'm basically the butthurt fanboy of black metal. All those nerds moaning about Star Wars or Ghostbusters and ruined childhoods. That's me here, sure. I admit it. But I'm at…

  • Lust, Caution

    Lust, Caution

    ★★★★★

    I watch a lot of movies that feel so messy and out of control I just think "who is this for? Does even the director understand what they're doing?" and it's refreshing to feel, from the very start, that you're in the hands of someone who truly knows what they're doing. Lust, Caution is exquisitely made; not just in terms of its lavish production values but in every sense. It's cinema that knows just the right balance between opulent movie…