i mean what can i even say?
i told you all the instant this movie was announced that it was gonna be the movie of the year. now here we are — only three months into 2022 and i truely just don't know how anything could possibly top this ludicrously bonkers fucking movie.

i'll start by prefacing that i am a daniels loyalist. everything these guys touch turns to gold — they make stuff unlike anything you've ever seen out of hollywood. i'm just grateful that i get to watch these two auteurs from their infancy and get to witness their bright and exciting futures firsthand.
from their early music videos with manchester orchestra, to their weird experimental shorts like interesting ball, to the feature debut of swiss army man. i adore everything they do.
so guess what that means? just like all of you fuckin nerds were prematurely biased for your multiverse spider-man movie; i get to be biased for my multiverse michelle yeoh extravoganza. yeah, fuck you all!! i knew this was gonna be a straight up five-star before i even watched it. it just has everything going for it everywhere, at all times.

first off, michelle yeoh. we're living in michelle yeoh's world. no, her multiverse. of course i'm in love with her, my favourite movie is crouching tiger, hidden dragon, give me a break. she kicks so much ass, she has so much emotional baggage to carry, she just hits that perfect sympathetic mum character that we all wanna root for. a character-type i'm so glad we get to see more and more of now in movies. mum's have it rough, being a middle aged woman is hard, it's an existential moment in time that this film just encapsulates so beautifully when coupled with yeoh's stellar performance. everyone else knocks it out of the park — stephanie hsu has such a challenging performance to pull off and just effortlessly shines, jamie lee curtis has a lot more to do in this than i first thought, she nails it, what do you expect? the great james hong is a brilliant character actor.
but the one who really stole the show here was of course the god of cinema himself, the king of inventions, motherfuckin SHORTROUND BITCHEEES. this little dude has so much range, he's a god damn comedic genius, an incredible action star, he carries so much of this film in so many ways. ke huy quan. my son. my love. where have you been? we've all missed you so much you little rascal. i kid you not, last year we rewatched the goonies and temple of doom and i asked 'where the fuck is shortround? i need this kid in more stuff now! where is this little dude? i don't care about indiana jones 5. give me a shortround spin-off!'
i cannot express enough how ecstatic i was to discover that not only is this dude making his big hollywood comeback. but he's gonna be in the new film directed by daniels?? starring alongside michelle yeoh as the lead?? this movie was just made for me. cinema is back babyyyyy!

i'm a daniels nerd, i love michelle yeoh, i love shortround, what more? i love martial arts films, this has parts crouching tiger, other parts the ridiculousness of a stephen chow film, then it'll just become a wong kar-wai movie out of nowhere — stepprinting and all. then, it'll flip back into something akin to the matrix, all the while just having some off the most oddball visual comedy i've seen out of a film in just about forever.
like swiss army man, it's gonna be interesting to see what general audiences think of this one. it's a lot, it's really strange, it never cuts corners. this is daniels unleashed and unhinged in every single way. the choices made here will probably make the movie an incoherent mess for some, it's doing everything to make you confused and question what the fuck is happening and why the fuck it's happening at every given point. i. absolutely. love. it. more of this please. daniels believed in this crazy idea and so did everyone else. resulting in a crazy mess that isn't just any crazy mess, it's our crazy mess.
but beneath it all we have this touching story about love, family, generational trauma, cultural expectations, the meaning of life itself and why we even try to live our seemingly significant lives in the first place. it touches on such a  profound resolution to the lingering questions that i wouldn't even dare spoil it. but every detail matters to the core of the film, there is no small side gag that's wasted, it all holds weight.
this is just the amalgamation of everything that is daniels. a full realisation of their earlier short; interesting ball in all it's 'what the fuck?' glory. the intercutting of ongoing emotional stories drenched in absurdity — it's just exactly what daniels do best, the surrealist comedy blended seemlessly with emotionally resonating existentialism which all build to some of the most satisfying and emotional payoffs imaginable, coupled with banana's visuals that'll leave you falling back in the cinema seat.

can you tell i loved it? 
go see this batshit insane movie now. 👀👀