It occurs to me that this movie opens with Dr Octopus being swarmed by spiders.
The first two movies tell us that life finds a way. These animals may not be real dinosaurs but they are real animals. In this movie, Dr. Grant, given the chance to make that distinction — Hammond’s creations may be interesting but they do not make paleontology obsolete — jumps straight past it to “they are theme park monsters, nothing more and nothing less.” So that’s the movie we’re in. It’s a theme park ride and it knows it and…
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
"Did that feel long to you?"
"Well, with previews it was more than three hours."
"I've done three hours before, but this really dragged."
The reason It dragged, my smoky-smelling theater neighbor, is because it is structurally unsound and inefficient. The amnesia thing works in the book (and the miniseries) because the act of the characters remembering is our guide to the events that have happened. Here, spending close to an hour on amnesia and denial doesn't work at all…
Surely one of the most unnecessary cinematic follow-ups of all time, this prequel/remake has nothing to say that wasn't said in the 1982 version and it doesn't improve on the source in any way, except that there are now women in the cast. Tonally this movie is less focused than the original, the paranoia is less palpable, and the movie is hampered at the beginning by needing to manufacture a way to get everyone at the Norwegian station speaking English,…