Ready Player One

Ready Player One ★★★★

One of my greatest regrets in life is not utilizing the momentum of my prime days as both a know-it-all "Zelda" addict and king shit of my high school's theater program to submit my name in Spielberg's nationwide casting call in 2016 to find the lead of this movie. The constant soy facing, the dead eyes from growing up inside a shipping container, the last shot -- I would have fucking killed it, plus my biracial identity would have provided good fodder for the think piece cycle. And then I could've done "The Card Counter" and played an uncharming political doofus that gets shot for thinking praxis is attempting a home invasion on Willem Dafoe. My life has been a fucking waste. Anyways, death to the author.

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