Favorite films

  • The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On
  • Iguana
  • Chameleon Street
  • Penda's Fen

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  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★½

  • Under the Hammer

    ★★★

  • Crimes of the Future

    ★★★★

  • Age of Consent

    ★★★

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  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★½

    Didn't Norm do some interview where he alluded to how everyone loves sunsets and talks about how beautiful sunsets are but one day he was looking at one and thought "what the fuck is this shit? I don't care about this"? That's me with Sam Raimi. Take all fake shemp poker buddy cameos, ripped jaws posters, wacky povs, pink elephant liam neeson, New Yorkers Give Spider Man his Mask Back Because 9/11 happened, "Drag Me To Hell? lowkey underrated proto-blumhouse…

  • Crimes of the Future

    Crimes of the Future

    ★★★★

    big dave dollars said "give me one more platinum plaque and fuck rap you can have it back"

    Kstew unstoppable.

    funny that "surgery is the new sex" is the line I see getting dropped when the follow up exchange of "does there need to be a new sex?" and Stewart barking "yes, it's time" irritably is far more emblematic of Cronenberg's writing. Glib Canadian drama register to a tee.

    I actually think "he's Canadian" is at the heart of a…

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  • Halloween Kills

    Halloween Kills

    Halloween blows.

    This isn’t a film, it's limited edition merch. It’s licensed ephemera that the accountants, landlords, crypto-preneurs and any other well-adjusted member of the spend-money-now official horror fandom, who all dress vaguely rockabilly for some reason, can safely enjoy with their terrible children.

    The opening flashback of Halloween Kills is the biggest brick I’ve seen in a while: a nerd looks into the camera and croaks “the boogey man”, some homeschooled stage kids fail to be convincingly mean and…

  • Halloween

    Halloween

    ★★★★★

    The top-voted Letterboxd review of this film is an imaginary conversation an ancient shithead claims to have had with teenagers in which he blew them away with the opening shot of Halloween (presumably before bench pressing them both.)

    He claims to have done this merely to prove “most of them have the attention span of fruit flies with ADHD and that most modern media seems to cater to their sugar rush needs causing them to lose appreciation for the power…