Ambulance ★★★★

While everyone is watching the latest from Ti West, I had the chance to view Michael Bay's next mayhem… or shall I say, Bayhem? A film that everyone seemed to be looking forward to seeing, except me. As a result, I went into this picture with the lowest of expectations.

And, well, it goes without saying that this is a Bay film. The only novelty is that I think for the first time, the filmmaker name drops/references not one, but two of his most popular films in the most random fashion. The script is chock-full of poor gags that make the MCU look like prime material. Bay does not restrict himself to low angles, 180 tracking views, and a cutaway shot montage that clearly demonstrates his history as a commercials director. The editing is frantic in a way that isn't as bothersome as 6 Underground and at times reminiscent of Tony Scott (who, if he were still alive, would have done a greater job), Bay by this point understands how to use the shaking cam in a way that you can still follow the action on screen...kinda. A considerable amount of effort was put into generating and retaining the adrenaline rush.

And the cam? Man, the cam! It flows, it swings, it flies, it floats, it drops, it drones, it smash, it fucks, it bombs, I think there’s one scene where it does some hip hop too. The man did everything in his power to keep it in constant motion.

There's not much to complain about in terms of the storyline or the actors' performances. Gyllenhaal is wonderful as this endearing maniac; he's having a wonderful time and it become infectious. Yahya tries his hardest to convey seriousness, acting as though he's in a serious picture, which lends credence to the film. There's also some LGBTQ+ representation, but I wouldn't be surprised if the part went to a straight character and they simply swapped the whiny dumb wife for the whiny dumb husband, had the two of them have a little kiss, and called it a day. Oh, and Eiza is also quite good, plus her character actually gets to be a bit of a badass, unlike Megan Fox, whom was only there for the eye candy.

All in all, While it is not objectively a good movie and has nothing particularly noteworthy about it, if you enjoy all of the Bay-isms, you may find it entertaining. An entertaining mess.

Also, seeing folks here go full suicidal had me rolling on the floor with laughter. That guy soaring through the air and bursting into the ambulance was hilarious. Or, or… the guy who was just standing in front of a glass and it seemed like Bay just asked him to toss himself against it. Or the cop car that could have stopped but instead choose to throw itself from a cliff and explode.

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