Favorite films

  • The Wild Bunch
  • High Plains Drifter
  • The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
  • Duck, You Sucker

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  • Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades

    ★★★★½

  • Mad God

    ★★★★

  • Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia

    ★★★★½

  • You People

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  • Elvis

    Elvis

    ★★★½

    Fun fact: the “bright lights may be too sensitive for some viewers” disclaimers you now see at the beginning of movies were first created because people realized Baz Luhrmann’s entire filmography was just one big hate crime against epileptics.

    Austin Butler is beyond magnificent, the general spectacle is incredible, and Tom Hanks attempting an accent should be made illegal in all 50 states, but overall this is just a more “extra” version of every music biopic ever. Which, to me,…

  • The Menu

    The Menu

    ★★★★

    Winnie the Pooh —> Blood and Honey
    The Grinch —> The Mean One
    Ratatouille —> The Menu

    The horror-fication of animated children’s classics continues, to the delight of me.

    Just as great on rewatch. The social commentary still reeks of Adam McKay-isms but the vessel in which it’s packaged is tons of fun. ATJ is a can’t-miss machine (no, The New Mutants doesn’t exist, idk what you’re talking about) and Ralph Fiennes is on his king shit. Mark Mylod deserves more work.

    2022 Rankings
    Best Horror Movies Since 2010

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  • Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades

    Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart to Hades

    ★★★★½

    Daigoro has to be the most emotionally numb child on the planet at this point. A dude lies directly in front of him, draped over the side of his cart, dying from being basically bifurcated, spewing blood and retching in pain, and the kid doesn’t even blink. 

    The cinematography for this series remains at an absurd level of gorgeous. The colors, the fight choreography, the Western-esque framing of each showdown, all just exquisite. And, of course, this wouldn’t be a…

  • Mad God

    Mad God

    ★★★★

    I’m sure if I sat and thought about the intended purpose of this movie for long enough, I could probably figure it out. Or, maybe not. Don’t really care, cause that’s not why I like it.

    What Mad God does is show a master of his craft exerting every available facet of his creativity. Stop motion has always fascinated me (except when used for comedy), especially when it comes to gods of the game like Ray Harryhausen. It’s a damn…

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  • The Pale Blue Eye

    The Pale Blue Eye

    ★★½

    Kids, if ever you start to think “hey, maybe being a full-time writer could be a sustainable career”, just remember that even Edgar Allen Poe had to join the fuckin Army.

    A dark, slow burn Scott Cooper period piece starring Christian Bale (hmmm, now where have I seen that before?), The Pale Blue Eye sees Bale’s grizzled old-timey detective investigating a potentially occult-related murder at 1800s West Point. Along the way, he’s joined by a quirky, eager young cadet with…

  • Contact

    Contact

    ★★★★

    “We have the means, the understanding, the technology...to allow SPIDERS to talk with CATS!”
     - Dr. Charlie Kelly

    The sheer concept of “science fiction” automatically lends itself to unrealism. And yet, there are levels of “realistic” to which sci-fi films can be reasonably equated. This is not to say that only the most grounded scenarios can be considered realistic; just because something cannot be easily rationalized by our current state of technological advancement, does not, in my mind, deem it…