Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills ★½

DGG got my hopes up man. This movie almost hurts my feelings in how disorganized and chaotic it was. Add it to the list of bunk ass Halloween sequels.

Green & McBride were bold in 2018 in choosing to ignore everything after the original and giving us a clean slate, bringing back JLC, and letting us pick up right where we left off. Kills, however, gets cocky and ego starts to show with some insane retconning in the way of a long flashback, an added main character to the 1978 plot, and a disrespectful reappearance of a dead actor/character. Just let the dead stay dead.

I had some wild Halloween II deja vu while watching this and experiencing the same problems. Too much hospital, and not nearly not enough creepy neighborhood action. Green decides to take his version of the story one step further by almost completely obliterating the Laurie/Michael connections, effectively making both secondary characters, while making the odd decision to make the citizens of Haddonfield the collective main character. New takes are fine, but when you pit Laurie against Michael for the entirety of 2018, and then shit on that and change tactics this time around, it’s the same feelings of betrayal and wasted time you get from “it was all a dream” plot reveals. Makes everything feel unfocused. The Haddonfield Mob is filled with a horde of new faces and minor 1978 characters all grown up, and it’s confusing to try to figure out who we’re supposed to care about or pay attention to, as characters are introduced in detail, only to be picked off in the same scene. Main characters feel haphazard and random, when all I really wanted was more of what made the original so interesting - Michael’s relationship to Laurie.

It all feels fruitless and like a filler episode, knowing that Halloween Ends is just around the corner. There is no threat of losing title characters, because who would tie things up in the latest “final” chapter? We’re just killing time to get to the ending, and it sucks the tension and excitement out of it. I really wish they hadn’t chosen to market the trilogy this way. It feels like Deathly Hallows Part I or Breaking Dawn Part I in that it’s just a means to an end.

Michael is still just as mean as he was in 2018, and it feels important in our PC world to note that Michael WILL kill off the only gay couple, or the only black couple with switched gender roles, which wouldn’t feel like a big deal except that Green makes it a big deal. Michael’s just killing for sport at this point, no goals, no intended victims, just vibes.

The ending is confusing and unnecessarily muddled. Time is just a suggestion. Is it a flashback, is it present time? My theatre collectively groaned at the ridiculousness of it. Not the Mob fighting Michael one at a time like a superhero movie!

Most boggling to me is what Green decides to make the heart of Kills: The People vs Michael Myers. He brings back the minor characters from 1978, makes them hungry for revenge, and even though Michael’s been locked up for forty years, literally not seen nor heard from, everyone is obsessed with this man. Get over it! Y’all fuel him! Green has his heart set on showing us how the sheep are horny for a revenge killing, even if it’s the wrong guy, and even if it means Laurie kneeing a nurse in the groin?? At that point I more or less checked out, because sense jumped out the window along with any sign of reality. The chanting of the tag line made me want to cover my face, not out of fear, but embarrassment. Stop trying to make “Evil dies tonight!” happen, it literally does not, there is more evil coming to theatres in one year. Stop.

A major disappointment, and a violent decline after a promising 2018 restart. Celebrating the fact that Ends in 2022 is it for a while. We all need a good bit of distance from Michael, Green, and co.

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