This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
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Elvis 2022
Feels like it goes on forever, and is not quite delirious enough for me. BUT. The movie never really gets too bogged down by plot, instead painting broad emotional strokes that lead to much more of the typical biopic stuff working in my case. When it goes bananas, I’m all in, and when it doesn’t, I’m still kinda there, I just wish there wasn’t so much of it.
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Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City 2021
Maybe the first time incessant fan service worked for me.
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Lightyear 2022
As of 7:23am Central Time, June 17th 2022, the explanation for the Buzz Lightyear toy Andy has and this movie is this: Lightyear came out in 1986, and the Buzz toy is part of a line from the animated spinoff show, a la The Real Ghostbusters. Fine. Whatever. This is the best explanation so far, and it doesn’t inherently contradict the title card of this movie, which says that Andy received a toy from his favorite movie. It feels off…
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Jurassic World Dominion 2022
Baffled as to what this movie is. It tells me it’s a Jurassic Park sequel, but there are TWO plots more important than anything with dinosaurs. Sure, there’s always a dino on the sideline, but like, even the villain dino is just kinda there.
The original gang spends the entire movie now investigating… wait for it… BUGS! We get more human clone updates! The giganotosaurus is as bad at chasing everyone as the characters in Obi-Wan are at chasing Leia! …
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Crimes of the Future 2022
Cronenberg, I beg of you, think about how inherently fun your concepts are. They don’t have to be so academically toned! You can do both!
Stewart understands, at least.
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Morbius 2022
Don’t let the memes fool you, there’s nothing redeemable about this movie, at all. I apologize for anything negative I ever said about Venom. I now own this piece of shit and am thereby a piece of shit by association, and I can never blot out the stain I have created on my soul by consuming this.
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Barton Fink 1991
There’s a lot of directors I don’t like, but I don’t know if there’s any that I’m more apathetic to than the Coens.