Kong: Skull Island

Kong: Skull Island ★★

I’m hilariously and annoyingly torn.

Because on one hand, all of the action sequences involving Kong and Skullcrawler, especially their climactic showdown, was pretty fun, and the VFX were impressive, but literally everything else was horrendous. 

The VFX look straight up unfinished more than half of the time, from the creatures themselves to the landscape shots of the island. 

The geologist, biologist, scientists, and whatever the hell Brie Larson’s role was supposed to be, all were entirely unnecessary and added absolutely nothing to the plot.

Was Brie Larson even trying to act? She’s blander than wallpaper. All of her eye-rolling hero stances and shots almost gave me a brain aneurysm. I was actively rooting for her character’s death and am sour it never came. 

Sam Jackson’s character is hardly developed, but offers the most substance to the human element of the narrative; anyone else? Couldn’t tell you a single thing about them as they’re all stand-ins to complicate the plot and move Kong from one end of the island to the other. 

The music sequences were over the top and just not needed at all. I’d go as far to say immersion breaking, if anything. 

And what was that ending? Don’t answer that. 

And if you’re reading this and have never seen it, don’t watch it either.

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