Favorite films

  • True Romance
  • The Descent
  • Spider Baby
  • The Driller Killer

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  • The Break-up Artist

    ★★½

  • Global Heresy

    ★★★

  • Blood Fest

    ★★½

  • Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

    ★★½

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  • The House by the Cemetery

    The House by the Cemetery

    ★★★★★

    My Eyes Hurt When I Go Outside, It's Too Bright!!! (or, My Halloween Horrorfest 2018) Movie #17

    So back in the day I was into tape trading (look it up!), mostly metal demos and the like, but every once in a while I'd get a horror VHS from one of my friends. One particular tape, I think he'd sent me Don't Look In The Basement but I can't be sure, featured a bunch of trailers for other horror movies and…

  • Eaten Alive!

    Eaten Alive!

    ★★★½

    This here is like a "greatest hits" album of all the animal death scenes from earlier Italian Cannibal flix. I mean I recognized almost every single one of them from other movies. And there are a lot of animal deaths. So be warned. I think there's actually more animals being killed than people being munched by cannibals which seems very wrong. It's a cannibal movie with not enough cannibals. But it does have a Jonestown-esque (or just straight up Jonestown)…

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  • The Break-up Artist

    The Break-up Artist

    ★★½

    Not really a good movie, in fact it's pretty awful for the first half, but Amanda Crew carries us through. Then they pared back all the extraneous characters and concentrated on the two main characters, Amanda and the floppy hair guy falling in love, and it turned into a cute romcom. But the first half is really not fun.

  • Global Heresy

    Global Heresy

    ★★★

    Alicia Silverstone is in a band with a bunch of Canadian actors, pretending to be American rockstars, hiding out in England, with Peter O'Toole and Joan Plowright, who are a Lord and Lady, pretending to be servants. Sounds complicated? Maybe. But not really. It's a very obvious movie. You know exactly where it's going. But it's done in a fairly charming way and the cast is likeable and funny(occasionally). O'Toole and Plowright do fall into the "rappin' granny" trope occasionally, which is painful.

    Heck, I didn't even mind the songs.

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  • Train to Busan

    Train to Busan

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Almost two hours of me yelling at my screen: RUN, RUN, RUN!!!! NO!!!, WATCH OUT!!!! OOOOOH!!!!!! NO! DON'T KILL THAT GUY!!! WATCH OUT LITTLE GIRL!! I FREAKIN' LOVE THAT DUDE!! RUN, RUN, RUN!!! JESUS THAT WAS AMAZING!!! GO! GO! GO!!! I REALLY LOVE THAT DUDE!!! WATCH OUT!!!! <SOB> <SOB><---(yes I cried), SAVE THE KID!!! AWW SHE'S SO CUTE!!! HOLY CHRIST!!! NO! DON'T KILL HER!!! i HOPE THOSE GUYS GET MUNCHED!!! WATCH OUT!!! COOOOOL!!!! RUN, RUN, RUN!!!! F**K THAT GUY!!! DON'T SHOOT!!!! <SOB> <SOB>, THE KID CAN'T SING BUT SHE'S ADORABLE!!!

    and finally... i LOVE THE MUSIC PLAYING OVER THE END CREDITS!!!

  • Nightmare City

    Nightmare City

    ★★★★

    Scene after scene of dudes with mud on their faces attacking people with guns, knives, teeth, and drinking their blood...and ripping women's shirts off. Really goofy, over-the-top Italian zombie/rage virus/The Crazies flick with some great gore set pieces, bad dubbing, blood everywhere, dancing, and a twist ending that is both stupid and awesome at the same time.