• Oasis: Knebworth 1996

    Oasis: Knebworth 1996

    ★★★½

    Apparently the height of "cool" Britannia was wearing a jumper which looked like it was knitted by your nan.

  • Red Notice

    Red Notice

    ★★★½

    It’s a bit Bond, a bit Raiders, a bit Ocean’s Eleven. It’s utterly disposable, derivative, entirely predictable and knowingly nonsensical, with its A-list trio milking their trademark shticks and screen personas to the max, but you know what...it’s also a lot of undemanding, self-effacing fun. With solid action sequences (a snowbound Soviet prison break is superior to a similar sequence in Black Widow) and star wattage to burn, this is perfect lazy sunday afternoon fodder, which I enjoyed far more than I was supposed to, if you believe the word of snooty film critics.

  • Dune

    Dune

    Visually striking, thematically rich, emotionally vapid. A feast for the eyes it may be, but Denis Villeneuve's take on the epic SF saga is cold and solemn, with a starry cast who somehow manage to be uniformly drab and lifeless, to the point that I couldn't care less what happened to any of them...least of all lead Timothée Chalamet, who is a complete charisma vacuum. Worth watching for the vast scope and dazzling imagery, but its characters and drama failed to engage me in the slightest. To be honest, I kind of miss the frequent unharnessed lunacy of the derided David Lynch version.

  • The Empty Man

    The Empty Man

    ★★★★½

    Shot back in 2017 and shelved during a studio merger, this was briefly dumped into U.S. cinemas in the midst of the Covid pandemic, and appears to have ended up on streaming services only here in the UK, with no theatrical or physical release that I'm aware of.
    Given such an unjust treatment is it any wonder David Prior's compelling debut feature has largely been slept on by horror fans? Such an ignominious fate is completely unwarranted as The Empty…

  • Among the Shadows

    Among the Shadows

    A post Brexit, pro EU, zero budget werewolves vs vampires Underworld knock-off. This features a miscast Lindsay Lohan, is shot on an ugly digital format which gives it the crude visual quality of a particularly amateurish YouTube clip and features a plot which fully evaded me after about five minutes - an incoherent mix of political intrigue, dismal detective thriller and crappy creature feature, rendered virtually unwatchable due to incompetent editing and dull direction.
    Experts warned us Brexit would lead to hardship and suffering, but nobody was expecting it to be quite this bad!

  • The Green Knight

    The Green Knight

    Slower than a stoned sloth, terminally dull, visually drab, emotionally stagnant and at least forty minutes too long. David (A Ghost Story) Lowery’s ponderous, tedious, sword & sorcery snoozefest spends forever limping along with zero urgency and little or no incident, then seems to abruptly run out of time and frantically attempts to cram several years worth of dramatic plotting into its final reel, before stumbling towards its ridiculous “is that it?” conclusion.
    Despite a few brief interludes of fantasy imagination…

  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    ★★★★

    Colourful and chaotic. Tonally all over the shop - this Suicide Squad relaunch is gory (and I mean really gory!), garish, anarchic, laugh out loud funny, with several stunning fantasy visuals (one key character's dive into an unlikely pool is literal eye candy). James Gunn returns to his roots to deliver what is essentially a mega-budget Troma movie, and depending on your trash sensibilities, you can take that as a recommendation or not. For me this is DC's best screen adaptation outside of Nolan's Batman series and a big, bombastic, brilliantly bonkers middle finger to Marvel, from a director in perfect symmetry with his source material.

  • Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage

    ★★★★

    Some men just want to watch the world burn...especially when after enduring three days of warzone conditions they end up having to watch Creed and the fucking Red Hot Chili Peppers!
    Pass the matches...

  • Blood Red Sky

    Blood Red Sky

    ★★★★

    Maybe it was my feverish state whilst watching (suffering my first cold in what seems like years - I did get checked for Covid just in case!), but I enjoyed the hell out of this multi-national monster mash. A full-blooded action / horror hybrid, it’s more Biteplan than Flightplan, but embraces the insanity of its terrorism/terror combo with straight-faced zeal and a surprisingly touching maternal back-story. My only real criticism is that this is way too long, otherwise Blood Red Sky could’ve been a minor monstrous classic.

  • A Classic Horror Story

    A Classic Horror Story

    ★★★½

    As has already been said this is basically Midsommar on a Cabin In The Woods tangent. Both subscribes to and subverts horror cliches and conventions, whilst maintaining mystery, creepiness and gruesome thrills. It has to be said though, Italian horror no longer does eyeball trauma like in the good old days. Lucio would not be impressed!

  • Jolt

    Jolt

    ★★★½

    Kate Beckinsale is my spirit animal in this slick, visually polished, darkly comedic and graphically violent experimental action romp, equally adept at delivering caustic wit and brutal beatings. Total nonsense of course, but with style to burn and hurtling along at rapid 90 minutes it never outstays its welcome.

  • The Legend of McCullough's Mountain

    The Legend of McCullough's Mountain

    Stephen King caused a bit of a Twitter storm this past week when he named H.G.Lewis' boundary-busting Blood Feast as the worst horror film ever made. Whilst Mr King may well be an authority on the genre, let's be honest here, Blood Feast isn't even the worst horror film called Blood Feast! What's perhaps more bizarre was the deluge of deranged replies to Steve from his legions of followers all offering up their own choice(s) of the worst that horror…