Old ★★★½

At one point, Gael Garcia Bernal says, "This doesn't make any sense," and I just laughed because he was right.

Old is the kind of movie that can only be made by the guy who made The Happening. It hurts me to say that because, unlike many people, I don't enjoy making fun of Shyamalan. I think he's a truly gifted visual storyteller who's given us several good movies, a few of which are all-timers, and I'm always rooting for him. But he sometimes lets his ego get the better of him, and this is an example of him once again thinking himself.....unbreakable. I'm starting to wonder if Jason Blum was keeping him in check these past few years.

Having said that, I thoroughly enjoyed this! As much as I yearn for "good" Shyamalan - and we do get some of that here - I'll also settle for "interesting failure" Shyamalan ("bad" Shyamalan, on the other hand - After Earth - oh, boy - I want nothing to do with). The cinematography is simultaneously stunning and irritating, with several shots poorly obfuscating key information solely to maintain the mystery. The characters are even more alien than those in The Happening. At one point, a character introduces himself to another twice within the span of a minute, and it felt like an alien desperately trying to keep up the ruse of being human. Then, because this is a Shyamalan film, I thought maybe the twist was that these people are aliens. But these aliens are played very well by talented actors like Gael Garcia Bernal, Abby Lee, Rufus Sewell, Thomasin McKenzie (God, I cannot fucking wait for Last Night in Soho), and more. And there is a twist, but this twist feels so un-Shyamalan. I would've been disappointed had the movie been 100% pure, classic Shyamalan beforehand. But given the movie we ended up with, it kind of fits perfectly.

I'll finish by saying that this movie contains TWO all-timer batshit seauences that I genuinely could not believe I was watching in a mainstream multiplex. One of them occurs at the midpoint and veers between horror and unintentional hilarity. The other - during the climax - had me losing my fucking shit! I really hope Shyamalan didn't intend for that moment to be taken seriously, because he seemed to be having fun. Regardless, I will remember these moments until the day I die and I thank Shyamalan for giving them to me.

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