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  • The Girl Who Believes in Miracles

    The Girl Who Believes in Miracles

    <2/10

    This movie is extremely offensive to the God it worships, lol.

    Dad takes 5 seconds of convincing to believe that his 10 year old daughter drew the mona lisa.

    Grandpa assaults two boys and almost strangles one to death in an effort to retrieve the $8 they stole.

    I swear I am not making this up:
    "Alright fumblewits, this is how this is gonna go. I'm gonna pay for this food, and y'all are gonna look up SAM DONOVAN…

  • Ebola Rex

    Ebola Rex

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    >2/10

    This was looking okay but there's one too many scenes that go on for far too long with looping music without anything interesting or funny occurring. Negan man is funny sometimes, I like that he uses the apocalypse to enact his sadistic power fantasy over a rug salesman.

    "The fuck was that?"
    "Nah coulda been a kidney bean"
    "What you thinking you're being funny?"
    "I'm eating chilli, Mike! Could've been a kidney bean or something"
    "I will fucking end you"

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