The Northman

The Northman ★★★★★

If David Lynch ever wanted to make a Conan movie, it would be The Northman

Last night, the power went out in the movie theater not once but twice. We got to watch scenes multiple times and had a lot of time to think about the film while they were getting everything fixed. And you could hear the rumblings of what people thought of the film. From masterpiece to absolutely ridiculous. It was a wild experience. 

I’m coming in with a super hot take, but I think The Northman might be the best film I’ve seen in theaters since Mad Max: Fury Road. Beautifully shot, wonderfully scored, and bolsters a killer cast that delivers. Skarsgård is unreal in this one, as is Taylor-Joy. I never knew this story was the inspiration for Hamlet. Similar stories that take different paths. Just amp up the violence factor because my god does this film have some moments that make you wince. 

But this film excels in its commitments to weirdness.
-yelling like dogs constantly
-Willem Dafoe just doing Willem Dafoe things
-naked fights in volcanos
-epic set up for a death sword
-fight with ghoul for said death sword
-flying Valkyrie
-whatever Bjork was doing
-playing knattleikr which seems awful
-funerals in this film are WTF

This film has it all and it definitely won’t be for everyone. If you thought The Lighthouse was strange then buckle up for an even weirder ride. But I stand by what I said, this film is a modern masterpiece and Robert Eggers has officially entered the conversation as most interesting director working today. See this film as soon as possible. 

Top Shelf! Gets my highest recommendation.

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