• Old

    Old

    ★★★½

    God it really delivered…..the beach DID make you Old!!! Entertaining as hell thank you Mr. Shyamalan

  • Mystic Pizza

    Mystic Pizza

    ★★★

    I understand why everyone loves Julia Roberts now

  • I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    I'm Thinking of Ending Things

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It’s messy and sometimes super pretentious, but the way it captures the human mind is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. To drown out the loneliness and hopelessness that lives in our brains, we have to tell ourselves stories. We compose fantasies in our minds, made from foggy memories of our childhoods and from movies and books and songs that showed us what a happy life is supposed to be. Instead of actually forming genuine relationships with other humans, you create…

  • School of Rock

    School of Rock

    ★★★

    This plot literally revolves around a hot couch who can’t even get into a shitty local band and then steals the identity of his best friend to pretend to be a teacher and makes kids to preform with him against their will for money. The fact that it somehow all works and ends up being extremely enjoyable is an absolute testament to the charm of Jack Black.

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    ★★★★

    It’s hokey at times and smug in the typical Aaron Sorkin type way but man if this isn’t extremely enjoyable

  • A Mighty Wind

    A Mighty Wind

    ★★★½

    “As you know, back in nineteen seventy mrrphph, I starred on a series called "Wha' Happened?", and every time something would go wrong, I would look at the camera and say, "Hey, wha' happened?" We had a lot of fun with that and a lot of other catchphrases: "I've got a weal wed wagon!", and, uh, "I can't do my wuurrrk!" And I believe I was the first one to use the phrase, "I don't think so!" But it only lasted a year, and that's good, because that's how you establish a cult...“

    Everything Fred Willard says in this should be carved into a mountain

  • Full Metal Jacket

    Full Metal Jacket

    ★★★★

    War bad, Matthew Modine hot.

  • Monsters, Inc.

    Monsters, Inc.

    ★★★★½

    Turns out the real monster....was being a scary monster....makes you think.....

  • Napoleon Dynamite

    Napoleon Dynamite

    ★★★★★

    There is not a single joke in this movie that doesn’t land it’s incredible. It holds up flawlessly, but that’s also because it has this timeless, retro aesthetic that captures rural America perfectly. Not to mention, Napoleon’s dance routine is such a triumph and really one of the greatest climaxes in cinematic history. Also, it pioneered the post credits scene with Kip and Lafawnda’s beautiful wedding and did it better than any blockbuster could dream of.

  • The Florida Project

    The Florida Project

    ★★★★½

    Thank you Willem Dafoe for protecting our children

  • Jaws

    Jaws

    ★★★★★

    I could watch this movie everyday for the rest of my life

  • The Wolf of Wall Street

    The Wolf of Wall Street

    ★★★

    Really brilliant in certain ways but it leaves me with an empty feeling and a bad taste in my mouth. Jordan Belfort’s downfall is entertaining, but it never shows the actual damage he did regarding the real money he stole and the lives he ruined. It has always felt like a less satisfying, more depraved version of Goodfellas to me. In Goodfellas, we see the disgusting side to the glamorous gangster life Henry told us about in the first half.…