any man alive in the history of ever in any country anywhere at any time at any volume in any circumstance: coughs 

mrs bennet, somehow bursting through their back door: DID YOU KNOW ALL OF MY DAUGHTERS ARE SINGLE AND HAVE BEEN ALL THEIR LIVES I HAVE MANY DAUGHTERS ALL AS BEAUTIFUL AS MY HAIR IS GREY HAHA OH BUT THEY ARE ALL AT LEAST GRADE C IN THE ART OF THE FIDDLE AND THEY ALL HAVE A SECRET LOVE FOR MAKING THEIR OWN CHEESE ELIZABETH IS A BRILLIANT GAMBLER IF YOU EVER TAKE HER TO VEGAS JANE PERSONALLY KNOWS THE MAN WHO INVENTED GARLIC BREAD KITTY CAN PUT HER LEG BEHIND HER HEAD LYDIA ALWAYS HAS GUM IF YOU NEED IT GO AHEAD ASK HER FOR SOME GUM LYDIA OFFER THE GENTLEMAN SOME GUM AND OH MARY I COULDN’T FORGET MARY DID YOU KNOW AT JUST 3 YEARS OLD SHE PERFORMED AN ENTIRE RECITAL OF TCHAIKOVSKY’S SWAN LAKE BY BLOWING ON EMPTY GLASS BOTTLES WHILE DANCING AND ROLLING STONE GAVE IT FOUR STARS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MARRY ONE OF THEM