• Village of the Damned

    Village of the Damned

    I hate those fucking kids so much. It’s even more than hate, it’s pure loathing. And all this wrath isn’t because those kids are scary or creepy, they aren’t. They just annoy me, everything about them annoys the fuck out of me. I hate their stupid ugly haircut. I hate those fucking clothes they are always wearing. I hate the way they look at people. I just detest them with an animosity that I find hard to describe. Considering my…

  • Entrails of a Virgin

    Entrails of a Virgin

    It has such a great title and the poster isn’t half bad either, which is why it’s all the more surprising that Entrails of a Virgin simply ends up being boring. There’s no other word to describe this. Most of the film consists of blurred porn in which men basically have sex with women who constantly seem to not want any of it. So basically, we watch men sexually assault women for an hour. While this is happening, we have…

  • Candyman

    Candyman

    I don’t know why, but this film screams the 1990s. It just has that feel those 1990s films all have. Much to love about this one. Great ambiance, great gore, and a pretty neat cast. What a charismatic murderous soul. Tony Todd is both terrifying and so charming in this. It somewhat feels like a macabre romance. I didn’t expect it to be this violent and gory thought; that was pretty good. The only thing I didn’t like was the…

  • Visitor Q

    Visitor Q

    I want to say it's weird, but it's more wrong than weird frankly. It feels like typical Miike, but maybe even more Miikest if I can invent such a word. I find it hard to describe Visitor Q or simply articulate my thoughts around it. Did I have a good time? I can't say. Is it great from a technical point of view? Considering the fact that it feels more like a cheap mockumentary than anything, I can't say. It…

  • Student Bodies

    Student Bodies

    What an absolute stupid movie… and I had a blast with it. I thought it was a satire at first, but no, it’s a straight-up parody. It veers into absurdity in numerous scenes and goes full meta in some of the jokes. I found it hilarious by moments. I got to say though that some jokes really didn’t age well and that as a whole, I doubt a movie like that would be made nowadays. It’s like a bit of…

  • Nightmare City

    Nightmare City

    Zombies using guns and knives? How about that? Count me in. That was a surprise and kind of refreshing. I feel there are many Italian horror films from this genre and I’m never really a fan. At least, I got to give credit to this one for the zombies. They’re fucking madmen. The first half of the film is pretty good. It’s pure chaos and the zombies are just shanking everyone they see. Sadly, the second half isn’t as interesting…

  • eXistenZ

    eXistenZ

    ★★★★

    Maybe I just have a twisted and disturbed mind, but I found the first half to be weirdly erotic. It’s like there’s sexual tension between Pikul and Allegra right from the first scene they share together. Or maybe it’s because of their bio-ports and how Jennifer Jason Leigh just lubricates Jude Law’s hole before trying to fit her finger in it. Or how then Jude Law just stick his tongue in Jenifer Jason Leigh’s hole. People reading this who haven’t…

  • Piranha 3DD

    Piranha 3DD

    At first, I thought "This isn’t as bad as everyone says it is". I found it bad, but not the terrible trash it was supposed to be. But the more I think about it, the more I realize how this film just has no purpose and no soul. I mean, the remake (more like a reboot) of the first film back in 2010 wasn’t anything out of this world, but at least there was a story. Here it’s pretty much…

  • Roadgames

    Roadgames

    ★★★★

    Ever since I discovered Road Games existed I’ve wanted to watch it. Why, do you ask? For one reason only: its incredible poster. This has to be in my top 10 best posters of all time; what a brilliant and beautiful artwork. Well, Roadgames certainly wasn’t what I expected it to be. I thought this would be a fun and silly film about a killer in a truck; I didn’t expect to watch Rear Window set in the cabin of…

  • Ms .45

    Ms .45

    I find it hard to understand how I really feel about Ms .45. There's a part of me that feels like the film left me cold, but then I think that might due to how it dives right into its principal premise. I just really have no idea to feel overall. I enjoyed it and found it interesting, but I'm not sure overall. It's nicely shot, the runtime is godly, the soundtrack on point, and Zoë Lund so great and…

  • The Burning

    The Burning

    Couldn’t help but laugh when you clearly see that the stuntman being set on fire has a full bodysuit while two seconds prior to that, the character who got set on fire was barely clothed. It doesn’t ruin the scene, but I found it kind of funny. Welp, The Burning is a slasher and I ain’t the biggest fan of those. Yet, this one wasn’t that bad. The kills are pretty cool and quite gory with nice special effects. The…

  • Surf Nazis Must Die

    Surf Nazis Must Die

    It’s pretty sad how when I watch a great film, I have trouble putting my thoughts into words and writing a review that conveys my feelings, but when I watch hot trash like Surf Nazis Must Die I could write a whole fucking essay. What a terrible and incredible film. It doesn’t make sense. Eleanor is stuck in a nursing home but she can wield a chainsaw, drive a motorcycle, handle a gun and even throw grenades. Why can’t she…