Old

Old ★½

For a movie that has no actual point existing, I pretty much enjoyed this one. It was damn funny in its staginess and fake seriousness. But then at the end it literally took itself serious, so I was conflicted. The fun parts were fun though. I stanned hard for the mad doctor who couldn't recall the title of the movie in which Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando appeared together. I was on the edge of my cinema seat the whole time, sweating from the life-changing question: will he remember??? (He didn't).

At any rate, Shyamalan should have made his film into a full-blown slasher with the mad doctor as its knife-wielding thesis. That way he may not have felt forced to come up with a plot twist that wasn't actually a plot twist. Oh, well. I also stanned for Vicky Krieps aka the #badass Mother. When I first saw her face light up the screen, I felt giddy with Phantom Thread flashbacks. It didn't last long. But it was there.

The doctor, though. What a missed opportunity. I finished my Schweppes Bitter Lemon just as he slish-slashed at my boy Gael Garcia Bernal, and let me tell you, it was a physically hurting spectacle. With a literally bitter taste in my mouth, I asked my friend to give me a gulp from her drink but she shushed me and told me to pay attention because THIS WAS SUCH A TENSE PART. I shook my head and whispered to her: no no, the most tense part was when we were left wondering if the doctor would recall the title of the movie in which Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando appeared together. He didn't. What a disappointment.

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