Bullet Train

Bullet Train ★★★★½

Rotten Tomatoes has long outlived its usefulness. Thanks to the site being filled with irrelevant nobodies as "certified Tomatometer critics," every bland animated movie or capeshit that comes out gets better reviews than films that actually dare to be different. Bullet Train currently has a 54%, a "rotten" score. My question is this: what the hell did David Leitch's film do wrong? What prevents the average critic from recognizing the immense craft on display? When will Leitch receive credit for being one of the most exciting "vulgar auteurs" to emerge in recent years?

Bullet Train, if reduced to a comparison, is a bit like Snatch on a Japanese train, but bigger and wilder. The approach to storytelling and character is so clever, with vital plot information being gradually doled out when necessary. In addition to its killer action sequences and witty dialogue, Leitch's film functions as quite the compelling mystery in the vein of Agatha Christie. Everything seems to have been delicately pieced together to created the most entertaining cinematic experience possible. The cast is superb. Brad Pitt channels his inner Ryan Reynolds, but it's Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry who steal the show as lovable twin hitmen Tangerine and Lemon. Bullet Train is the Thomas the Tank Engine movie we deserve. Fucking Diesel.

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