Kazmer has written 64 reviews for films rated ★★★★★ .

  • The Face Behind the Mask

    The Face Behind the Mask

    ★★★★★

    Ironically, in real life, that New York cop would have told Peter Lorre to fuck off and he never would have gotten directions to the apartment building before it burned down. He'd still be lost on the street but at least he'd have a face.

  • Raydon

    Raydon

    ★★★★★

    Roll that clip from Raydon

    cause I'm tryna see that monster, boy

  • Freddy Got Fingered

    Freddy Got Fingered

    ★★★★★

    #ReleaseTheGreenCut

  • The Man with Two Brains

    The Man with Two Brains

    ★★★★★

    Put this on while unpacking from a move, realized 20 minutes in I was mouthing every line of dialogue without even looking at it

  • The Devil's Rain

    The Devil's Rain

    ★★★★★

    This movie should be a fucking litmus test for all cinema. Every second is incredible. Ernest Borgnine is acting his fucking ASS OFF and LOVING IT. Shatner goes more in than he ever did on the Enterprise. The soundtrack has no skips. Every frame a fucking painting. I'm high as fuck rn but god this movie rules so hard. Guaranteed I'm gonna watch this at least two more times before the end of the year.

  • Road to Revenge

    Road to Revenge

    ★★★★★

    I'm legitimately a little speechless trying to convey my thoughts on this. It's got everything. Every scene is insane in a different way. I couldn't even tell you what the plot is. There's like 20 minutes dedicated to Wings Hauser drunkenly rambling and starting a new religion based on Huckleberry Finn. There's satanists and bad karate and a dog that eats ice cream. There's multiple sex scenes that made me want to never be horny again. John De Hart wrote…

  • Real Life

    Real Life

    ★★★★★

    this is the Altered States of comedy films

  • A Night at the Roxbury

    A Night at the Roxbury

    ★★★★★

    Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah 12" Ladies Night Remix [feat. Haddaway]

  • Persona

    Persona

    ★★★★★

    If I saw this back when I was in film school, I absolutely would have joined a noise band and started chainsmoking cigarettes in my 8-roommate apartment with a bunch of people I barely know collectively wearing way too much denim

  • The Devil's Rain

    The Devil's Rain

    ★★★★★

    This is a way classier film than its marketing leads it on to be. Even the parts where Nickelodeon slime is bursting out of people and they melt like Street Trash characters feels genuinely frightening. Some great horror quietly hiding in here if you're willing to buy what it's selling (you'll know in the first 5 minutes).

    There's an easy list of best on-screen devils, but goddamn if Ernest Borgnine isn't the perfect mad cultist. His performance here should be…

  • Unmasked Part 25

    Unmasked Part 25

    ★★★★★

    This belongs in a museum.

    I've never seen anything like this. For 88 minutes, Unmasked tiptoes through a minefield. There's a million ways this could have gone wrong, and it tactfully evades every one. This is the movie every horror fan in film school wishes their work looked like.

  • The Sweeper

    The Sweeper

    ★★★★★

    This is the closest we'll ever get to a Time Crisis movie