Kazmer has written 57 reviews for films rated ★★★★½ .

  • The Toxic Avenger

    The Toxic Avenger


    There's a dozen gags a minute on display here, but my favorite has to be the Nixon biography laying in the toxic sludge garbage dump as the camera pans over ground. I can only picture the shit eating grin on Kaufman's face putting that down there. "This one'll REALLY rile em up!"

  • Nemesis



    From the jump I thought this was gonna suck. The opening shot is a close up with MC voice-over narration and a red tinted picture of downtown LA, and figured I knew exactly what this was gonna be.

    Cut to 5 minutes later and Nemesis reveals itself to be a lost John Woo sci-fi epic. The dialogue is serviceable, the plot is whatever, but the action sequences are a goddamn riot. Every single one is explosive and chaotic. This might…

  • The Prestige

    The Prestige


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    A few small details that prevent me from giving this a full 5 stars

    - I don't understand Cutter's motivations. He helps with the scheme to trap Fallon, but at the end of the film, is horrified to learn he helped with putting Alfred in prison. How was that different than when you buried a man alive just to obtain the secret of a trick that you still insist you already knew?

    - Angier also changes motivations multiple times and…

  • Nightcrawler



    This movie hits mad different when you've actually lived in LA for a while and not in a fun way. The House That Jack Built but replace the art theory with capitalism.

  • Austin Powers in Goldmember

    Austin Powers in Goldmember


    Having watched all three of these in a marathon session again, I'm looking at Goldmember in a new light. This might be on the same level of hyper irony as Freddy Got Fingered. By this point you know every gag they're gonna pull out. You can see it coming a mile away. But the movie knows you know, and they want you to know they don't give a fuck. You know the Dr. Evil shush gag? Fuck you, we're gonna…

  • Ed Wood

    Ed Wood


    I want to see a biopic like this for Roger Corman

  • The Sweeper

    The Sweeper


    Imagine if McBane from The Simpsons starred in a Crank sequel. It's exactly as exciting and cliche and insane as you can picture. Nearly lost my voice popping off for this one. No movie out there can be described as "over the top" anymore until it surpasses the psychosis of this masterpiece. The game is changed.

  • Trading Places

    Trading Places


    god that train sequence is like the worst SNL bit ever and I hate it so much fuck

  • The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2


    The Gremlins 2 of Texas Chainsaw films. Confidently psychotic from start to finish. Dennis Hopper hams it the fuck up as a deranged cowboy. There's never not something insane happening. Complete trip.

  • Invaders from Mars

    Invaders from Mars


    The movie I watched before this was a slow, dramatic, emotional coming of age film, and it was so boring I had to turn it off halfway through. Decided to counter the mood with some big dumb crap. Soon as I saw these dummies getting worms shoved in their necks and a lady eat a frog I knew it was the right call. This is like The Stuff if it wasn't corny and had way more schlock.

    This rules. Shoutout to that Krang lookin mf.

  • Eyes Wide Shut

    Eyes Wide Shut


    How the hell do you 69 with masks on

  • Sexy Beast

    Sexy Beast


    *me pointing at Ian McShane*
    "That's Gabriel Byrne"