Kazmer has written 14 reviews for films rated ★★★ during 2021.

  • Casino Royale

    Casino Royale

    ★★★

    What the fuck is going on

    This legitimately feels like 10 different movies crudely spliced together. On top of that, every one of those movies is completely fucking insane. Some jokes drag on for way too long to get to a painfully unfunny punchline. There's other parts where my jaw was on the floor in awe of the psychotic visual sequences that come out of absolutely nowhere. Whoever was in charge of the stunts was clearly a fan of pyro…

  • The Lair of the White Worm

    The Lair of the White Worm

    ★★★

    Felt like Ken Russell was supposed to make a self-aware cheesy comedy film but couldn't help sticking in a bunch of his staple text-heavy plot details and psychotic low-grade dream sequences. Man really loves him some VHS Jesus imagery. If it leaned harder in either direction, this would be a more coherent and enjoyable experience, but instead feels like it's never really sure what it's going for.

  • Predator 2

    Predator 2

    ★★★

    There's a strange scene here where Bill Paxton is uncomfortably trying to hit on María Conchita Alonso, and Glover is watching them going "oh shit she's about to tear his ass up", and she brings up Paxton had a partner that got shot, and as a viewer you're like "oh this about to be good".

    and then she just twists his dick in her hands and you're like oh ok

    That one moment sums up my feelings on the whole…

  • Incredibles 2

    Incredibles 2

    ★★★

    I've seen so much weird fanart of Elastigirl on the internet that I was shocked when reminded how shapely they made her in the actual film

  • The Wrestler

    The Wrestler

    ★★★

    need the scene of Mickey working a deli counter to be about 3 hours longer

    I'd probably hate this if the wrestling sequences weren't so good. Aronofsky will always feel to me like a first year film student disguised as a Hollywood player. All of his Big Moments hit way too hard on the nose, like he's trying to make extra sure you got the point he was making with that visual metaphor. It's hard to tell if it's more lack of confidence or amateur instincts he never evolved out of. Either way, it's too predictable to not snort at when it happens.

  • Leviathan

    Leviathan

    ★★★

    An amalgamation of concepts that never fully commits to any idea in favor of trying all of them. Sometimes it's a monster movie, sometimes it's a body horror, sometimes it's a technical sci-fi thriller, sometimes it's a sarcastic action blockbuster. Characters are never fleshed out beyond their personality tropes and base desires. Entire last 5 minutes is a laugh riot that brings the whole film down with it. Best viewed while drunk and falling asleep on your couch. Take a shot for every review on this site that mentions Alien and The Thing.

  • The Last Gunfight

    The Last Gunfight

    ★★★

    There's an overabundance of guns being rapidly fired in this film, literally hundreds of bullets flying back and forth, yet somehow maybe 10 total people are actually shot, main characters and random goons combined. I think there were more face slaps than flesh wounds.

    Felt like there's a great gritty story in here that's bogged down by just too many things going on. Pacing between action scenes sometimes slows to an odd crawl. Too much substance and not enough style to put this one over.

  • Enemy Mine

    Enemy Mine

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    You can't just make a movie about pregnant aliens and not tell anyone about it, there has to be a law

  • Serpico

    Serpico

    ★★★

    None of the stuff with Serpico's girlfriends is interesting or relevant and the score seriously sucks, but I'd watch 2 hours of Pacino chewing tobacco and menacingly holding a knife.

  • Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

    Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

    ★★★

    This movie is definitely 3 stars at best but it's 5 stars in my heart

  • Silent Running

    Silent Running

    ★★★

    I really wish back in like the 40s and 50s we entered an alternate timeline where it was acceptable for movies to be under 90 minutes. Too many films out there are forced to insert padding just to fit the runtime requirement for studio release, and it is always a detriment to the overall product. Silent Running is definitely one of them. There's about 10-15 solid minutes here that could have been removed in favor of a tighter narrative, and…

  • The Border

    The Border

    ★★★

    water beds are not that loud there is not an ocean rampaging inside it