Kazmer has written 34 reviews for films rated ★★★ .

  • The Wrestler

    The Wrestler


    need the scene of Mickey working a deli counter to be about 3 hours longer

    I'd probably hate this if the wrestling sequences weren't so good. Aronofsky will always feel to me like a first year film student disguised as a Hollywood player. All of his Big Moments hit way too hard on the nose, like he's trying to make extra sure you got the point he was making with that visual metaphor. It's hard to tell if it's more lack of confidence or amateur instincts he never evolved out of. Either way, it's too predictable to not snort at when it happens.

  • Leviathan



    An amalgamation of concepts that never fully commits to any idea in favor of trying all of them. Sometimes it's a monster movie, sometimes it's a body horror, sometimes it's a technical sci-fi thriller, sometimes it's a sarcastic action blockbuster. Characters are never fleshed out beyond their personality tropes and base desires. Entire last 5 minutes is a laugh riot that brings the whole film down with it. Best viewed while drunk and falling asleep on your couch. Take a shot for every review on this site that mentions Alien and The Thing.

  • The Last Gunfight

    The Last Gunfight


    There's an overabundance of guns being rapidly fired in this film, literally hundreds of bullets flying back and forth, yet somehow maybe 10 total people are actually shot, main characters and random goons combined. I think there were more face slaps than flesh wounds.

    Felt like there's a great gritty story in here that's bogged down by just too many things going on. Pacing between action scenes sometimes slows to an odd crawl. Too much substance and not enough style to put this one over.

  • Enemy Mine

    Enemy Mine


    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    You can't just make a movie about pregnant aliens and not tell anyone about it, there has to be a law

  • Serpico



    None of the stuff with Serpico's girlfriends is interesting or relevant and the score seriously sucks, but I'd watch 2 hours of Pacino chewing tobacco and menacingly holding a knife.

  • Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters

    Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters


    This movie is definitely 3 stars at best but it's 5 stars in my heart

  • Silent Running

    Silent Running


    I really wish back in like the 40s and 50s we entered an alternate timeline where it was acceptable for movies to be under 90 minutes. Too many films out there are forced to insert padding just to fit the runtime requirement for studio release, and it is always a detriment to the overall product. Silent Running is definitely one of them. There's about 10-15 solid minutes here that could have been removed in favor of a tighter narrative, and…

  • The Border

    The Border


    water beds are not that loud there is not an ocean rampaging inside it

  • Deathdream



    "That was quite a war, that World War 2. You remember that war, Mr. B?"
    - Guy who fought in WW2 talking to man who also fought in WW2

    Overflowing with unintentionally funny moments and impossible to take seriously. The ridiculous editing magically turns all the tension into laughs. Every single character is chewing the hell out of the scenery and overacting like crazy people. One guy gets his own Looney Tunes-esque violin music comically following every move he makes.…

  • Red, White and Blue

    Red, White and Blue


    There's something telling about how many of the posts here mention the throwaway Star Wars reference as the entire review and give it 4+ stars

    Another movie where it doesn't feel like it really has an ending so much as it just stops. This easily could have been another 30-40 minutes to create a more rounded out narrative, and kind of needed it for the last few scenes to have a bigger impact. There's not even a mention of what…

  • Dirty God

    Dirty God


    Feels like a script where someone came up with a great idea and got halfway through writing it before they knew how it would end. It's pretty good until the last 30 minutes when everything falls apart through confusing character decisions, rushed/absurd plot points, and abandoned story threads. Some details feel like they're inserted with zero context just to muddle it up even more. I think this needed a few more drafts to figure out what it was really trying to say.

  • Exit Wounds

    Exit Wounds


    Steven Seagal looks like Jim Belushi doing an impression of himself. He is Belushi². Every cutaway to a close up of his face makes me laugh. The idea that he thinks he's actually this character in real life is even funnier.

    There's definitely a moment where he does a Street Fighter combo on a guy by uppercutting him into the air, then punching him in the stomach so hard he goes flying back.