Kazmer has written 11 reviews for films rated ★★★½ during 2021.

  • Escape from the Bronx

    Escape from the Bronx


    Somebody showed my man Enzo how to do a slow motion flip stunt near the end of filming The Bronx Warriors and this mf said "This is the movie now."

  • 1990: The Bronx Warriors

    1990: The Bronx Warriors


    The gang in roller skates with hockey sticks took the themed-gang concept way too far, and that's saying something when the nazi motorcycle murderers are sticking plastic Halloween skulls from Dollar Tree on their bikes

  • The Ladies Man

    The Ladies Man


    Basically just a live action Daffy Duck cartoon. Almost every point here is for the insane production design and every one of those fantastic ladies. Jerry is a one-man sensory overload and I was way too high to put up with his bullshit tonight.

  • Body Melt

    Body Melt


    Worth watching for the insane soundtrack decisions more than the body melting

  • Fire and Ice

    Fire and Ice


    While the credits were rolling, the moment my buddy says "I liked the backgrounds a lot, I wonder who did them," I saw Thomas Kinkade's name roll up the screen and let out the ugliest laugh of my life

  • Star Trek: The Motion Picture

    Star Trek: The Motion Picture


    Half of this movie is people silently staring at things

  • Point Break

    Point Break


    Needed 75% less surfing and skydiving and 140% more angry John C McGinley

  • American Pop

    American Pop


    There is an alternate dimension out there where this is a live action movie and I love the shit out of it, but Bakshi's signature quick and dirty style is once again the primary thing holding back my enjoyment of his own films. I dig the watercolor backgrounds but god those faces are haunting. The disjointed rotoscoping and cheap xerox photocopy become more distracting than anything else.

    Ya almost had me this time ya crazy bastard, but even Bob Seger can't pull me over the line for this one

  • Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

    Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone


    You better believe I was watching the Deathly Weapons cut again

  • Wheels on Meals

    Wheels on Meals


    Sammo Hung has the tightest goddamn fits in this movie

  • The Legend of Billie Jean

    The Legend of Billie Jean


    Turns the most low-stakes revenge story ever into a chaotic adventure of manhunts, hostages, dopplegangers, car chase shootouts, arson, attempted rape, armed robbery, and murder - and all with the vibes of a Mary-Kate & Ashley home movie. This is Natural Born Killers as a 90's Disney Channel flick. Cannot imagine who the intended audience for this was. Truly bizarre.