Kazmer has written 14 reviews for films rated ½ during 2021.

  • Goblin

    Goblin

    ½

    she definitely fucked that goblin

  • The Amazing Spider-Man 2

    The Amazing Spider-Man 2

    ½

    I think I hated literally every second of this movie. Every single individual element is aggressively stupid. Sometimes it can't decide whether it wants to be a superhero blockbuster or a mumblecore romantic comedy. I spent half the movie yelling "WHERE'S SPIDERMAN".

    Electro is a weird psychotic incel now. Every actor in this is awful and never shuts the fuck up except for Chris Cooper (who is completely wasted). I barely knew what anyone was doing and never cared cause…

  • 36 Husbands

    36 Husbands

    ½

    WHY THE FUCK IS THIS CALLED 36 HUSBANDS

    THERE IS LITERALLY ONE HUSBAND IN THE WHOLE THING

    I don't know what the fuck this is but it's certainly not a movie. I have absolutely zero clue to what the plot is. It's just a collection of shit happening for 80 minutes and then it stops. It's like they forgot to shoot half the script. I left this with infinitely more questions than I had when I started. This one's a true enigma.

  • Three Giant Men

    Three Giant Men

    ½

    This somehow gets more incomprehensible with every viewing, but the climax fight against the infinite teleporting Spidermen is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life

  • V-World Matrix

    V-World Matrix

    ½

    Hands down the most awkward sex scene in cinema history

    Like an LA skate vid where they spent so much time filming skits they forgot to film any skating

  • Repo Jake

    Repo Jake

    ½

    Repo Jake drove so Drive could drive

    Hey this sucks by the way. There's way too much fucking repo'ing and about 15 minutes of actual plot and none of it is interesting. The soundtrack is a collection of nightmare Rugrats demos. He never even holds that shotgun from the cover.

    Fuck you Repo Jake.

  • Omega Doom

    Omega Doom

    ½

    Turn it off after the first 3 minutes because there is literally nothing else interesting for the rest of its running time. Clearly had zero budget and man does it show.

    Good choice to watch on April Fools Day, cause this shit is a joke

  • Terror In Beverly Hills

    Terror In Beverly Hills

    ½

    If Beverly Hills has an old bean factory, does that mean there's a new bean factory?

  • Gor

    Gor

    ½

    bro imagine being named Tarl

  • TEKKEN

    TEKKEN

    ½

    This is not my beautiful house
    This is not my beautiful Tekken

  • Star Crystal

    Star Crystal

    ½

    The first movie ever made by cough syrup

  • Inspector Gadget

    Inspector Gadget

    ½

    I watched this movie twice this year and I still don't know what the fuck is going on