Kazmer has written 45 reviews for films rated ½ .

  • Three Giant Men

    Three Giant Men

    ½

    This somehow gets more incomprehensible with every viewing, but the climax fight against the infinite teleporting Spidermen is one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life

  • V-World Matrix

    V-World Matrix

    ½

    Hands down the most awkward sex scene in cinema history

    Like an LA skate vid where they spent so much time filming skits they forgot to film any skating

  • Repo Jake

    Repo Jake

    ½

    Repo Jake drove so Drive could drive

    Hey this sucks by the way. There's way too much fucking repo'ing and about 15 minutes of actual plot and none of it is interesting. The soundtrack is a collection of nightmare Rugrats demos. He never even holds that shotgun from the cover.

    Fuck you Repo Jake.

  • Omega Doom

    Omega Doom

    ½

    Turn it off after the first 3 minutes because there is literally nothing else interesting for the rest of its running time. Clearly had zero budget and man does it show.

    Good choice to watch on April Fools Day, cause this shit is a joke

  • Terror In Beverly Hills

    Terror In Beverly Hills

    ½

    If Beverly Hills has an old bean factory, does that mean there's a new bean factory?

  • Gor

    Gor

    ½

    bro imagine being named Tarl

  • TEKKEN

    TEKKEN

    ½

    This is not my beautiful house
    This is not my beautiful Tekken

  • Star Crystal

    Star Crystal

    ½

    The first movie ever made by cough syrup.

    Fucking hysterical from start to finish. The clear struggles to hide how cheap EVERY SET IS never stopped being funny, like the actors got shrunk down into a little Warhammer table decoration made out of egg cartons. They do extreme close up shots of the floor where you can obviously see they spray painted fake vents onto some cardboard. It's incredible. Everyone is so dead faced and non-reactive to every moment while…

  • Inspector Gadget

    Inspector Gadget

    ½

    I watched this movie twice this year and I still don't know what the fuck is going on

  • Robot in the Family

    Robot in the Family

    ½

    Joey Pants really woke up one day and said "I think I will create violence"

  • The Master of Disguise

    The Master of Disguise

    ½

    This movie has 14 endings just like Return of the King.

  • Three Giant Men

    Three Giant Men

    ½

    ADIOS MAFIA