Blind Fury

Blind Fury ★★★½

"I also do circumcision."

Absolutely bonkers nonsense Westernised Zatoichi remake starring a committed Rutger Hauer as a blind Vietnam vet sword fighting his way through the modern day.

Opens with Hauer getting blinded in Nam before he is taken in by locals, who teach him how to be a samurai, for some reason. Comes to back America looking for Terry O'Quinn, hears Meg Foster get brutally murdered, takes a kid sidekick, tells that sidekick about his dead mom, drives a van, murders another samurai by throwing him in an electric hot tub, has a fight in a warehouse while O'Quinn throws firecrackers everywhere, cuts off a man's eyebrows as a threat, and blows up a meth lab - all while making quips.

This is a film wherein everyone Hauer comes across pranks him for being blind - including the kid feeding him a rock that he says is candy, or some redneck punks filling his burrito with too much hot sauce.

It's extraordinarily stupid but super fun, and Rutger Hauer gives a bizarrely committed performance.

I leave you with the tag line:

"He may be blind, but he don't need no dog."

Block or Report

Kai liked these reviews