Favorite films

  • Ghosthouse
  • House
  • Devil Story
  • The Queen of Black Magic

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  • Gremlins

    ★★★★½

  • Weirdsville

    ★★★

  • Ninja III: The Domination

    ★★★★★

  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★★★

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  • Skeleton Man

    Skeleton Man

    ★★★★★

    Skeleton man jumps through portals on ponies and F@!&*s shit up.
    He doesn’t need to identify himself.  HE IS SKELETON MAN.  He shoots arrows and crashes helicopters!  Skeleton man will pull a skull out of your chest!  MFN’ SKELETON MAN.

    *random stock video footage of eagle*

    Skeleton man can outrun rocket launchers.  Skeleton man is impervious to bullets.  Skeleton man will slowly pick off people in your special forces crew in ridiculously fun and gory ways.  

    Does the plot…

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    In my mind the greatest cinematic achievement of all time is the 1974 Tobe Hooper classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  Wow.  A lot going on in those last few frames.  Vietnam, watergate, the invention of the pill, the white album.  Has there ever been a more perfect weapon of destruction?  Yes, Sally survives in the end, but does she?  Aren’t we all running from the chainsaws in our past?  See you next Tuesday.

    Wes Gardener
    Scream Queens

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  • Ninja III: The Domination

    Ninja III: The Domination

    ★★★★★

    Soul jumping, eyeliner wearing, ball crushing ninja at your service, bringing one of the wildest 80s supernatural tales you could ever imagine.  This film is nostalgic for me.  Probably not so much for my parents, whom had to replace drywall because of throwing stars (blaming brother for this).  Anyway…  This film starts with action. The opening scene is excellent and over the top. Amidst his death, a badass ninja soul jumps to Christie, a utility worker and aerobics enthusiast; and…

  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★★★

    Russ is a little rusty with his dating skills.  Rather than being a weird creeper who goes to peep shows, he prefers to apply the peephole directly to the object of his desire.  Do we really know his motive?  Not really no.  Did they even make cordless drills back then?  Who cares.  Russ knows what counts (up to 4 anyway). This is classic 80s slasher cheese (and yea there is cheese, it’s even grated).  Check it out, drink the kool-aid, don’t even bother measuring the sugar first.  

    New vocabulary: glomming. This appears to mean hogging, as in taking up too much of.

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  • Suspiria

    Suspiria

    ★★★★★

    The colors, the soundtrack, the shadows, the camera work…. We all know this is a classic giallo flick and I’m just one more person to tell you that.  

    BUT, the dancer in me is going “wtf, why are there so many floppy port de bras ?!!?!”  😂

  • Black Christmas

    Black Christmas

    ★★★★½

    A pretty entertaining remake of a holiday horror classic.  I’m a fan of the cinematography and the blinking holiday lights.  The twist is predictable but the action carries out until the ending. The acting was good, the story is formulaic but well done.  If you’ve been meaning to watch this, there’s no time like the present!  If you’re not into gore, eye could see why you might not dig this.  

    Fake blood score:3/5