The Kissing Booth 2

The Kissing Booth 2 ½

We all hear stories of how hard it is to get into the movie business and the sacrifices we must make, and yet we see shit like this spewing out of Netflix's asshole every year. Disgraceful that production companies are still wasting millions of dollar on this pitiful horseshit. It's almost been 100 years, an entire century since sound in film was invented, and here in 2020 we get the sequel to the groundbreaking, critically acclaimed, oscar sweepin, masterpiece The Kissing Booth.

I am sad to report all the great influential auteurs like Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino, Francis Ford Coppola, David Lynch, Park Chan Wook, Bong Joon Ho, Michael Haneke all shriveled up and died today because they knew they never have, and never will make anything near as good as The Kissing Booth 2 (I refuse to italic the title). The skeletons of all time greats like Ingmar Bergman, Stanley Kubrick, Andrei Tarkovsky, Alfred Hitchcock, Billy Wilder, Orson Welles, Akira Kurosawa, Federico Fellini, Sergio Leone, Krzysztof Kiewslowski have all dusted away as their legacy means nothing in comparison to the 2 hour and 10 minute long The Kissing Booth 2. Just a very passive aggressive reminder that this excuse of a movie is longer than Citizen Kane.

Never have I been more insulted to such a repulsive, infuriating, nausiating, hopeless degree by such a disgusting, dreadful, detestable, dumpster fire excuse of a movie full of pretentious, cringey, unfathomable characters. I demand this be added to the The World is Hell: Hopeless Cinema list ASAP. I had to interrupt my chronological Kubrick marathon for this bullshit and I'll never forgive myself. I KNOW there will a cult of 14 year old, and i-oop, hehe I'm so cute and quirky girls that say "hey uh I thought that was pretty good"."yasss queen slay we NEED The Kissing Booth 3"! THE GUY IS SO CUTE🥵🥵🥵OH MY GOD THEY ALMOST HELD HANDS🤝SO RELATABLE😳😳MASTERPIECE! I fucking despise Joey King shes just the girl version of Noah Centineo who equally sucks ass and cant act. 2020 is really shaping up to be the single greatest year for film outshining the likes of 1957, 1966, 1994, etc with exuberant, flawless, earth shattering, tour de force masterpieces like 365 days, Artemis Fowl, and now The Kissing Booth 2. Fuck, movies really are dieing.


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