Pet Sematary

Pet Sematary

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

By far the scariest part of the story was Jason Clarke in the role of a warmhearted and loyal family man.

Does horror actually only arise if the protagonists do exactly what normal people would never do?

Why do authors, screenwriters and directors of horror stories believe that people act always irrational in uncomfortable situations? I can’t remember when I saw the last horror movie, in which the characters rationally responded to threats. How boring this genre has become ...

Let's test your very pesonal approach to different situations:

Question 1: You move into a new house in the countryside with your family. The front yard is not fenced and is adjacent to a road used by speeding trucks. The situation is a danger to your underage children. What are you doing?

A) I leave everything as it is. What should happen? (0 points)
B) I draw my children's attention to the permanent danger. (1 point)
C) I build a fence with a lockable garden gate. (2 points)

Question 2: You are a country doctor. The dead body of a former patient appears to you at night and asks you to follow him into the dark and foggy forest. What you are doing?

A) I'm glad that he still remembers me, follow him immediately and do not even put on shoes. (0 points)
B) I wake up my spouse, who is lying next to me in bed, we get dressed and go together. (1 point)
C) I do not listen to what dead people say. (2 points)

Question 3: You live in a sinister area. This is also noticeable to your family members and your spouse is urging you to move away from here. You feel the same. What are you doing?

A) You convince your spouse and the children to stay here even longer. (0 points)
B) You think about it for a moment. But obviously not long enough. (1 point)
C) You order the moving company and leave the place as soon as possible. (2 points)

Question 4: Your cat is run over by a truck and soon after moves in as a zombie in your house. Everyone is afraid of the behavior of this pet and your kids do not want to play with it anymore. What are you doing?

A) This is a completely normal situation. The kids will get used to it. (0 points)
B) I find the situation a bit strange. (1 point)
C) I drive the dead cat to a vet and release her with a heavy heart from her zombie existence. (2 points)

Question 5: You hear eerie noises in the attic and/or basement and/or behind walls. This always happens at night and always where there is no electric light or light bulbs that go out with a last flicker. What are you doing?

A) I go there right away to see what happens. (0 points)
B) I wake up my spouse and we explore this together. (1 point)
C) I'll check it out at daylight next time. (2 points)

Question 6: You suspect that a violent and probably armed zombie child has invaded your house. What are you doing?

A) I’m looking for this threat immediately. (0 points)
B) I am waiting for the further events armed in a safe corner of the house. (1 point)
C) I leave the house immediately. (2 points)

Question 7: On your property there is a haunted old Indian cemetery that scares you. What do you do?

A) I visit this place basically only at night and bury there my pets and family members so that they return as transformed evil beings. (0 points)
B) I take the warnings of the locals a bit seriously and therefore enter the cemetery only during the day. (1 point)
C) I avoid this place. (2 points)


Test result
0 points: Bury yourself alive. It will not get any better in your life.
1-13 points: You have a three percent chance of not ending up as a killer zombie. Therefore, as a precaution, shoot yourself.
14 points: You are a normal person. Nothing to worry about.

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