Blonde ★★

This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

This review may contain spoilers.

I've always been a big fan of Marvel's What If comics. I had one where "What If The Fantastic Four Never Got Their Powers" and the team is helpless to fight Doctor Doom as mere pedestrians. More of a fan of one where "What If The Hulk Killed Wolverine?" It had a foil cover showing Logan's bones sitting on a graveyard plot (if you wanna know, it was kinda like Claire Bennett in Heroes where one damage puts a hold on her regenerative abilities). And just this past year, Marvel put their own What If? animated show out there and to me it's completely amazing. My point is, this is What If? Marilyn Monroe edition.

This is based from a book, which is a FICTIONAL account of her life. With that being said, I know 85% of viewers of this movie are going to believe this is exactly what went down with her life. And if that 85% population puts faith into that, it becomes character assassination. And now you've sullied one of the most important celebrities of the silver screen.

Now I haven't read the novel (and hopefully people took offense to that) but there are so many charms to her as a celebrity and this film did nothing for that. The ideals that we hold to be romantic were completely glossed over. They only wanted to show pain and misery and abuse. Example for me personally. I never want to root anyone on in an affair, and for sure JFK and Marilyn were a thing for a while. But hey, let the mystery be. If we were to imagine it on our own terms, I'm sure it was more romantic than giving him a hummer while he's talking on the phone.

In the end, like much of everyone else, Ana de Armas should be recognized by the Academy for how well she did. But at the same time, the movie was really trashy and I hated the light it put her character in. It might even get nominated for a Razzie. To me, it felt like A Star Is Born meeting Requiem for a Dream at some point. And just like Scorcese's last stinker, The Irishman, it seriously needed an edit. Near 3 hours is way too long for this dreck.

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