Grand Duke

Grand Duke

Pro

5 bags of popcorn
RANKING ART IS BAD THIS IS JUST FOR FUN 

Favorite films

  • All That Jazz
  • Step Brothers
  • Citizen Kane
  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

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  • The Magnificent Ambersons

    ★★★★½

  • Cry Macho

    ★½

  • News of the World

    ★★½

  • Jupiter Ascending

Recent reviews

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  • Son of the Mask

    Son of the Mask

    The Mask impregnates a woman yet this installment lacks the raw horniness that drove the original. The first time Jamie Kennedy puts the mask on he pulls up to a fucking Halloween party... a far fall from the swing revival driven night club conquests that dominated the original. The camera work is audacious but any energy is drained by Kennedy’s abysmal performance. At one point he gets soaked in piss and it’s hard not to believe he deserved it.  Also…

  • Twilight Zone: The Movie

    Twilight Zone: The Movie

    ★½

    Should be titled George Miller Saves Everyone’s Ass. This movie tries to “update” classic Twilight Zone episodes with “state of the art” special effects and “cool” needle drops like Midnight Special by CCR, man. There is no clear reason for this exercise except to make money. In all but one segment, Sterling’s focus on horror as metaphor in service of social commentary is discarded.
    The opening  killer John Landis bigot journey through time tries to have a message but is so…

Popular reviews

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  • Magnolia

    Magnolia

    ★★★★★

    (Oct 23-27, 2018)

    Magnolia has obvious flaws... it's over three hours when it shouldn't be, some of its most compelling characters are forgotten about in the second half, and lands on a conclusion that is both heavy handed and opaque. The flaws of Magnolia would be tough to ignore if they weren't in the service of a work so interesting.

    Paul Thomas Anderson (or PT Anderson as he's occasionally credited or PTA for people who are in so much of…

  • Glass

    Glass

    ★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    There’s three main categories of bad movies: 1. The Unremarkable- films that leave your mind as you’re walking out of the multiplex to your car. 2. The Offensive- an affront to your very existence as a filmgoer; memorable only through how excruciating it was to sit through. And 3. The Provocative- a special kind of bad where you marinate on all the ways it was uniquely a mess. M. Night Shyamalan is the ultimate auteur of this third category and…