Joe

I watch a lot of horror movies. Perpetually depressed but learning to keep my mouth shut and allow myself to slowly decay into nothing.

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  • Evil Eye

    Evil Eye

    Please listen to your insufferably controlling mom. No, just kidding. Don't do that. This is OK. Watchable.

  • The Rental

    The Rental

    Great cast. Liked it a lot until the last act when it finally switches to horror. That turn starts out pretty tense, but I felt the last act was ultimately ruined for me by becoming a little silly. Still lots of good stuff and worth a watch.

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  • Death O' Lantern

    Death O' Lantern

    ★★★★

    Loved it. Love Stingy Jack and his irritating voice. Excellent date night movie for connoisseurs of inappropriate garbage crafted lovingly by obnoxious nerds with no money. Less than an hour long, so you can get to fucking your date quicker because all will have a raging boner/be all wet/display other sign of sexual arousal by the end of this movie.

  • Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

    Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies

    Inferior sequel. It ditches the panache and humor for larger scope and heavy-handed Christian symbolism. Divoff tries his best, but he couldn't save this one. I would have been much happier with more of the same.