Jacob has written 17 reviews for films rated ★★★ .

  • The Super Mario Bros. Movie

    The Super Mario Bros. Movie


    If they don’t make a Luigi’s Mansion with Charlie Day, I’m prepared to riot. 

    Nothing much about it is particularly *good* (why scrap a whole score to put in standard licensed music, for what), but it’s still plenty of fun. It could be longer, the script could be better (or even like…good), there could be even a semblance of pacing. But the characters are spot on (Bowser, DK, and Luigi especially, Toad even Peach and (regrettably) Mario half the time), the world is perfect, I had fun, who knows.

  • Top Gun: Maverick

    Top Gun: Maverick


    A technical triumph that better be used a prime example for a Best Stunts category in the future. 

    It’s a shame that it’s wrapped in a horrible script and heavy handed nostalgia. The formula is tried and true, but it hurts the overall feeling of triumph. It’s all fine, but too safe for my liking.

  • M3GAN



    A little too serious for something so obviously campy. But when it leans into the fun, M3gan is fun. The back half of the movie is way better and a blast. 

    Personally hoping the sequel it titled Meg4n and they never address it, but I might be hoping it’s more camp than it actually is again.

  • Underwater



    The pros: Eldritch Horror, Kristen Stewart, spooky sea creatures, a snappy 90 minute horror movie

    The cons: TJ Miller

  • Avatar: The Way of Water

    Avatar: The Way of Water


    It’s pretty…and pretty empty. There’s not much there by way of meaning and there’s a surface level depth to these characters at best. Angry mom, rebellious teen, recycled bad guy. It’s dazzling and filled to the brim with stunning creatures and underwater visuals. It’s a spectacle, undeniably, but a hollow one for much of its overlong runtime. An obvious bridge to whatever Cameron has up next, I guess? Maybe that one will be more fun?

  • Hunt



    Hunt is a fast paced political thriller that ratchets up the stakes until it is at 100 and ready to blow. The politics of it are pretty simple, but the action and intrigue are wild and an absolute blast.

  • EO



    The TreEO of Life

    EO is a beautifully shot, if not occasionally puzzling, portrait of a donkey roaming the Polish countryside.

    It has some rather simplistic themes of our selfishness and cruelty, where we insist we’re doing something in the best interests of others even when that’s not true (in this case, EO just wants carrot muffins and to vibe with his circus girlfriend). 

    I would kill for EO, that much is clear.

  • Hellraiser



    Weak characters plodding through a boring set up really keep this from reaching the level it could, but once it gets going, good god is it a gross, fun time. 

    The Priest and Cenobites are done to perfection. Sexy, scaring, absolutely disgusting. 

    It’s honestly not at all horny enough for what it’s paying homage to, which is a wild sentence to type out. But hey, I squirmed in pleasure/pain several times, so hey mission accomplished.

  • Don't Worry Darling

    Don't Worry Darling


    My sincere condolences to Harry Styles fans. It’s not his fault, nobody survives acting alongside Florence Pugh.

    The movie itself is a lot better than I expected, in part because of yet another stellar Pugh performance and solid cinematography and direction. The end falls apart quickly, there’s easily another fifteen minutes of story in Victory just left hanging. The first half of the score is overbearing before it settles into a creepy and excellent sound for the rest. The twist, half-fun and half-predictable, leaves a lot of plot holes from throughout the movie that bring the whole thing down to *fine*.

  • Barbarian



    Two insane movies slam into each other halfway through Barbarian, with mostly positive results. I was in the mood for what the first half gave me, which meant the second half was a bit of an adjustment, to say the least. 

    But it’s fresh, fun, and unpredictable. It’s not as insane and unbelievable as everyone has been saying, but it’s still a pretty fun ride. I personally would abandons anyone that voluntarily went into those tunnels, but I guess I’m just built different.

  • Prey



    Taking Predator back to survivalist roots was the move. 

    Unfortunately a bit too little happens and the runtime feels much longer than it is. I was waiting for something more and never got it.

    Still, it’s got a gnarly kill count and some fun action and is well acted by its main actress. It’s a fun new take on a tired franchise and by far it’s best in a while (although personally that’s a low bar to clear)

  • You're Next

    You're Next


    You’re Next crawled through horrendous acting so Ready or Not could fly.