Jacob has written 5 reviews for films rated ★★½ .

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3


    This was certainly a movie where the people *are* places! What are they doing in these locations? Unclear! Yelling! Showing no characters depth! And then moving to new locations to yell more!

    It’s a bold move to sideline your most charismatic character for 2 hours of your 2.5 hour movie, I’ll tell you that much.

    Elizabeth Debicki, you deserve more than that wig, I’m so sorry. 

    The final act was fun, it should have been that for much, much longer.

  • Armageddon Time

    Armageddon Time


    Meandering and seemingly unsure of what its own point is, Armageddon Time is a chore about white guilt? or about discrimination? or about art? or about bad parents? Whichever it is, it’s not done very well.

    Gray attempts to tell a story of how “well-meaning” white moderates prop up white supremacy time and time again. And it’s there, sure, but it lacks any real bite and fizzles away into a frustrating final message of “Hey, at least you tried your best”.

  • Bros



    I’m just glad that we’ve progressed enough as a society where gay people can make bad movies too ❤️

    There are a ton of hilarious jokes and plenty of great representation of the way queer relationships shift and change and don’t have to be stuck in a straight mold. But it’s all awkwardly shoved between a horrendous script with two characters with no real chemistry besides what they tell us they have.

    However, ending with a hologram of Ben Stiller saying “Hey, Queers!” has sent me into ORBIT.

  • The Lost City

    The Lost City


    Brad Pitt carried this on his luscious locks and charm alone.

  • House of Gucci

    House of Gucci


    Thanks Jared Leto, I’ll be leaving all important business meetings with an awkward look and a simple, single, “BOOF!”

    Lady Gaga stuns in an otherwise boring, horribly-edited mess. Adam Driver was certainly…there. And Jared Leto was on some other planet pretending he was Waluigi.