• Cold Skin

    Cold Skin

    ★★

    As someone who will often spend up to an hour trying to pick a movie, watching a friend scroll Prime Video and randomly turn on the first thing they saw blew my mind. None of us had heard of it and we hadn’t even decided to watch a movie. Just, blam, movie now. Which one? This random ass one presented to us by the algorithm. I don’t know if I admire such careless spontaneity or if it scares me.

    Movie itself was bland, but it does a great job expanding the sex with weirdly hot fish people genre.

  • Election

    Election

    ★★★★

    Perfectly encapsulates the sad little ways we try (and fail) to enact power over our lives, especially when we are made to feel our powerlessness.

  • This Is the End

    This Is the End

    ★★½

    I am not being facetious when I say I’m happy they got to make this! It’s a hilarious idea to lampoon the fact that you and all your friends got ridiculously famous. I just feel like it would’ve been better served by a less polished film, perhaps something found footage. The best part is picturing them having a blast making this but that is lost when everything is kept distanced behind layers and layers of production. It could have been…

  • Space Jam: A New Legacy

    Space Jam: A New Legacy

    ★½

    I look expensive.

    Nostalgia goggles removed, this is much more competent than the first. The first movie is SO bland, the most inventive thing that happens is Newman turning into a balloon. In the sequel there are several moments of genuinely creative animation as the movie hops from one commercial to the next. But that’s the thing, if the first was an elaborately disguised ad, this is the Super Bowl.

    No matter how long Warner Bros made their underpaid animators…

  • Flickering Lights

    Flickering Lights

    ★★★

    It’s that schmaltzy 90s/early 2000s Hollywood sweet with an edge but Danish.

    Ends kind of like Ratatouille but doesn’t feel as earned. 

    I don’t like when movies do flashbacks and feel the need to do some effect to signify it. Just cut to the past and allow the time jump to be felt in a hard cut, don’t do some big fade to white complete with wooshing sound please.

  • Spirited Away

    Spirited Away

    ★★★★★

    I hadn’t seen this since I was 10, watching it now was like watching it for the first time. Simply one of the most imaginative movies ever made.

  • The Printer And The Boy

    The Printer And The Boy

    ★★★★★

    The opening dedication (which reads “For Joel Haver. For inspiring me to make movies”) made me feel things that no amount of numbers or other measurable forms of success can. This is why I make no budget movies and release them for free, this is why I do what I do.

    The Printer and The Boy is beautiful and inventive from start to finish. The scenes where long conversations play out in single shots are genuinely incredible, in them Zaid shines…

  • See You Soon

    See You Soon

    ★★★★★

    On the surface, this is just two dudes with a genuine reverence for movie theaters sharing their movie-going stories. And perhaps that’s all it was intended to be.

    However, stepping back a little you notice that we spend almost the entirety of a documentary about movie theaters stuck outside them. The theaters themselves, even though many are open, feel all but abandoned. Like palaces of a fallen empire. The stories that are shared by Jordan and Ethan, with a few…

  • The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

    The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

    ★★★★★

    I remember when this came out on DVD and my friends and I would replay the speech before the Goofy Goober Rock scene over and over. Without fail, I would get chills every time. I remember trying to explain the sensation to my friend, it might very well be the first time I remember responding in such a way to a movie. In a world filled with people talking down to kids, coming-of-age stories imparting valuable lessons about maturity and…

  • Divorce Italian Style

    Divorce Italian Style

    ★★★★

    The ultimate cuckold movie and that’s a good thing!

    Perhaps not as shocking as it might’ve been in its time, but likely just as funny. The jokes don’t miss in this! Which is saying something because almost all comedies, especially older ones, have moments that just don’t land for me, but I don’t think this had one. Just a damn fun time and it sticks the landing!

  • Blade

    Blade

    ★★½

    Oh, Blade! Like cause of the sword! That makes sense.

    It actually took me till the final fight to draw that connection, but in my defense he spent most of the movie shooting people.

  • Desperado

    Desperado

    ★★★

    The more Rodriguez I watch, the more I accept El Mariachi as his best movie, not in spite of its budget but because of it. Desperado is constantly walking the fine line between campy and corny and sadly stumbling into the latter more times than not. This tongue-in-cheek but also-actually-wanting-to-be-cool thing worked in El Mariachi because the whole thing was so damn endearing. Here, amidst a confusing musical score and shooting/editing that often feels motivated by little other than coverage, we begin to…