Jizzmonkey

Fancier of moving pictures. Bihanded.

Favorite films

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  • The Alphabet Killer

    ★★★

  • The Bachelors

  • Deep Water

    ★★★

  • The Power of the Dog

    ★★

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  • The Alphabet Killer

    The Alphabet Killer

    Aargh where do I start with this garbage. Wait, that's not fair. It's an ok film. I'm just so over serial killers. They're starting to really annoy me, with their murdering ways and stupid sick fantasies. And there are far too many movies about them. However, Eliza Dushku did start to fuck me off after a while, and I strayed into a dream where I considered my options, such as whether to strangle her, tape her to a pogo stick…

  • The Bachelors

    The Bachelors

    What a stupid fucking film. Julie Delpy is a high-school teacher without a boyfriend? - no fucking way. And she wants the old dude whose wife's deader than a fucking doornail and he cries all day? And as for the kid, a total fucking knobknuckle, and the rest of them too for that matter. What a sappy truckload of fucking garbage; about as much depth as a puddle in the desert. Give me fucking strength, oh Lord, I beg of you.

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