• Firebird

    Firebird

    ★★½

    i'm sorry to whoever's true story this is that you had to live through the same recycled bury-your-gays plot with another pair of white, conventionally-attractive leads played by heterosexuals. truly tragic.

  • Fresh

    Fresh

    I went into this knowing it was going to be average. But this actually suprised me. It was much worse.


    The only thing fresh about it is the title. It takes itself too seriously for how stupid it is. The characters were unfinished. The jokes were overdone. It's too predictable to be scary, too unoriginal to be funny. Its not even bad enough to be good. Just plain mediocrity adding to the endless sea of content these streaming companies are force feeding us.

    I'm just honestly pissed.

    Because I expected more from a film that has Sebastian Stan's dick bit off.

  • Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

    Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown

    ★★★★½

    Been a long while since I've seen an Almodovar film. I forgot how much personality and absurdity and hysteria there was. Had trouble sittting with it at first. But god! When I finally settled in!

    I didn't realize how much I missed the absolute thrill and stupid fun of Almodovar films. Couldn't stop smiling through that chaotic final act. I was in tears screaming crying pissing myself laughing vomiting

    Instant favorite.



    Also. Young Antonio Banderas hhhhh antoniobanderasantoniobansdddddsjjdj no i am not foaming in the mouth!!

  • The Power of the Dog

    The Power of the Dog

    ★★★★★

    pay attention! this is how you make a movie about gay cowboys!!!

  • Un Chien Andalou

    Un Chien Andalou

    ★★★★

    Film school making me do the weirdest shit.


    Not complaining tho, this was an oddly fun watch.

  • Napoleon

    Napoleon

    I hope one day I can watch this in a giant theatre with three screens and tens of thousands of other people. Gance was a visionary and I will not be dishonoring this art by watching this on any screen smaller than my own physical body!!

    -- this was me after watching ONE yt video essay about french impressionist cinema for a crammed report, high on five cups of coffee --

  • Dune

    Dune

    ★★★★½

    it's okay, paul. having wet dreams about zendaya is a perfectly normal thing that happens to all of us.

  • Luca

    Luca

    ★★★★½

    the queer subtext is undeniable. beautiful film. i may have cried a bit.

  • Army of the Dead

    Army of the Dead

    ★★★½

    A-tier zombie movie. A bit corny for my taste but I guess that comes with the zombie genre. I'm glad Snyder didn't take this film too seriously. Action-packed, ridiculous, lots of fun, and a really good cast too. There were some clever details building on a sequel. It's definitely up there with the best of its genre, lightyears above most zombie offerings though that's not saying much.

  • Charlie's Angels

    Charlie's Angels

    ★★★

    Absurdly bad. I loved every minute.

  • Twittering Birds Never Fly: The Clouds Gather

    Twittering Birds Never Fly: The Clouds Gather

    ★★★★★

    SHDJSJEJSJSJHGSH

  • The Host

    The Host

    ★★★★

    it blows my mind how a monster movie could be this artsy and brilliant and goofy and also have substance. the bar for monster movies was on the floor until this one picked it up and threw it on the ceiling.