Cinderella ★½

What in fairytale hell is this!?

Cheaply shot, terribly lip synced and tonally all over the place, Sony & Amazon Prime’s Cinderella should never have gone to the ball.

I’ve seen worse musicals and it won’t emotionally scar me as much as Cats did, but what a huge mess this is. The humour is painful, the performances are outright bad, the plot changes make no sense and it honestly has some of the worst musical sequences I’ve ever seen put to film.

I like Camilla Cabello and her “Million to One” song is the singular highlight, but she can do much better than this, and on their own terms, the songs aren’t *that* bad. I do like a jukebox musical, but literally nobody asked for a Cinderella movie that had the handsome Prince gesticulating away to Queen’s - “Somebody to Love” mere minutes before we’re subjected to James Corden’s head badly animated onto a mouse’s head.

God, I feel like I need a wash after that.

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