Favorite films

  • Apocalypse Now
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • The Blues Brothers
  • WALL·E

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  • The Tomorrow War

    ½

  • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

  • Gunpowder Milkshake

    ½

  • Pig

    ★★★½

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  • Florence Foster Jenkins

    Florence Foster Jenkins

    ★★

    Always follow your dreams. Maybe one day Meryl Streep will portray you in a mediocre biopic.

  • Who Killed Captain Alex?

    Who Killed Captain Alex?

    ★★★★

    Aeons from now, in a time so distant it is unfathomable to the human form, the elder beings descend upon a council at the advent of the death of the universe. They communicate in forms beyond our comprehension to ponder one important point: They still haven't figured out who killed Captain Alex.

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  • The Tomorrow War

    The Tomorrow War

    ½

    They really just be making anything on streaming platforms these days. How did nobody kill this in the pitch or pre-production stage? I seriously do not understand how a studio can green light a nine figure budget to produce something like this. I do not know how this film got made.

    Here's a better idea: You have a link to 30 years in the past? Go there, warn people of the oncoming war, and then build up the defences and…

  • Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

    Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

    I'm a big fan of sequels that play out like someone fed the first film into a neural network.

    Also, sheesh. Whoever "wrote" this has some serious psychological issues when it comes to women. It's not clever, it's not satirical, it's not self-aware, it's just openly misogynistic.

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  • The Problem with Apu

    The Problem with Apu

    ½

    "I certainly deserve a show."

    An impotent, mewling, self-important tirade by some irrelevant comedian about a cartoon character he doesn't like, fuelled with an incredibly reductive analysis of Apu and what he is designed to reflect in American society, and endless examples from the series that are taken out of context in order to make them seem like they are the problem they are in fact making fun of.

    What's really remarkable to me is how narcissistic this dude is.…

  • Lemonade

    Lemonade

    I can't provide any constructive criticism of this pretentious and egotistical bourgeois nonsense without being labelled sexist and racist by Beyonce's psychotic and fanatical fanbase, so I'm just going to do what everyone else does and scream YAAAAS SLAY QUEEN BEY SLAAAAY YOU ON FLEEK QUEEN SLAY YAAAASSS FLEEK QUEEN BEY SLAY SLAAAAAY YAAAAASS QUEEN BEY SLAAAAAAAAAAAAY FLEEK YAAAASS QUEEN BEY QUEEEEEE

    To think that The Revenant was attacked for "cheaply imitiating" Malick while something this tacky has been met…