Elwood B.’s review published on Letterboxd:
"WHO TAUGHT YOU MATH!?"
Ok, so I had to explain the plot of this film to my dad, because he had no idea what was going on for most of it, so I might as well just write it down now, while I still can:
So Harry is a criminal (thief), whose partner gets shot by some crazy bitch while they are both fleeing from robbing a toy store. While on the run, Harry accidentally walks into a Hollywood audition for a private detective. Because he uses his "life experience" and he is still fucked up about his partner getting shot, he is so convincing that the producer invites him to one of those fancy Hollywood parties. (Harry is a former child magician.)
Harmony is a slut, who fucks everybody except Harry. She and her sister used to live only with their dad - a major asshole, who abused Harmony's sister almost every night. To make her sister feel better, Harmony told her, that that's not her real dad, her real dad is an actor from a movie being shot in their town (which is a lie) . The actor turns out to be a guy named Harlan Dexter. Harmony is really hot, so when she is interviewed for tv about some bullshit, she is invited to one of those fancy Hollywood parties. (Harmony = trouble)
Harlan Dexter is an asshole and a business man. His daughter is suing him for millions so he hires an actress to play his daughter in court so that he doesn't have to pay one nickel to his real daughter, who he locked up in an insane asylum (He's also fucking his fake daughter, which is kinda gross)
Gay Perry is a private detective helping Harry to get a feel for the character (who is a private detective) , therefore taking him on some sort of a Ride Along. Gay Perry is also really gay.
So now that we have the main players set up, here it goes:
Harmony's sister goes to Hollywood to find her dad, who she believes to be Harlan Dexter. When she finds him, she thinks he is having sex with her daughter, which he is not because that's not his real daughter but the actress he hired to play his daughter. Being abused by her real father as a kid, Harmony's sister, let down by her real father and her fake father, can't take it anymore and kills herself, but before she kills herself she hires Gay Perry to record the inzest between Harlan Dexter and the actress playing his daughter, who Harmony's sister believes to be his real daughter. What Gay Perry and Harry, who is with him for the Ride Along, find instead is Harlan Dexter's real dead daughter, who is not wearing any underwear because they don't wear those in those insane asylums. They leave the corpse behind, but soon the corpse reappears in Harry's flat.
Meanwhile Harmony is thought to have commited suicide but it turns out to be her sister for reasons already explained, who stole a bunch of Harmony's stuff including her credit card. Harmony however thinks her sister got murdered and hires Harry, who she believes to be a private detective.
Harry and Gay Perry get rid of the body, Harlan Dexter's real daughter, and just leave her on the side of the road. She deserved better. Harry then meets some of Harlan Dexter's henchmen who try to intimidate Harry into leaving Los Angeles. Harry however doesn't leave and by coincidence him and Harmony follow the two henchmen who try to kill Gay Perry. One thing leads to another and the two henchmen are dead. One killed by Harry, the other killed by a guy selling hot dogs. Anyways, the fake daughter of Harlan Dexter is also killed by one of the henchmen, because Harlan Dexter's real daughter's boyfriend is coming home from a trip and he doesn't want him to go "hey, wait a minute, that's not my girlfriend, that's just some bitch with pink hair."
At first they all think that was it, but then they make the wrong deduction, that Harmony's sister was playing the part of Harlan's daughter, when in fact there was the other woman, the one that Harmony's sister was seing having sex with her "dad". Then, Harry and Gay Perry go to the funeral parlor because they think, that Harlan Dexter wants to get rid of his real daughter's corpse because he doesn't want people going: "hey, wait a minute, that doesn't look like the woman, who was your daughter in the courtroom saying she doesn't want to sue you anymore".
But before Harlan can burn her to a crisp, Harry, Gay Perry and Harmony save the day by stealing Harlan Dexter's real Daughter's corpse bringing clarity into the public's perception of everything that was going on.
I've seen this film too often or maybe not - who knows.